Sunday, December 2, 2012

God Bless everyone.

I am so sorry it has been so long. I had the surgery on Nov 7, and it went well (according to the Doc). It was pre-cancerous, but no cancer was found. Thank you Lord!

I have to admit it was hell. The first few days were a nightmare of pain.
The first time I woke up and was actually conscious in the ICU of the hospital, I noticed my stomach, It was huge. In fact in a movie I saw years ago, I think it was Alien, this woman was pregnant and an alien ripped out of her stomach. Well that was me. When I sat down, my stomach stuck out further than my tata's. Let me tell you, that is BIG! It actually kinda scared me.

 But once I was released to go home. I finally could see the light.

I am surprised really how long it is taking to get back to a normal life again. This week I have started taking my dog Dakota for walks in the neighborhood. It feels great. I have lost most of my endurance that I use to have when walking. But, I know it will come back. My son has been a true blessing to me. In the beginning, I used a cane to walk around the house and yard. He would follow me everywhere to make sure I didnt trip or get hurt. He would put my socks on for me when my feet got cold.  I couldnt bend since my stomach was so bloated with gas.  For Thanksgiving, the husband smoked the Turkey and my son cooked all the other items. It was nice. Heck, his stuffing was even better than mine. : )

I am feeling much better. I am suppose to return to work, 2/1/12. But I am aiming for January.

I have missed all of you and hope you all are having a blessed holiday.



Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

I just love Halloween and so do the kids. Since I no longer get many kid trick or treating at my house any more, my daughter took my cemetery items and now her house is all decked out as one. So much fun. Growing up, my parents lived in this big house on a very steep hill. Kids never wanted to trek up that long drive way so we never had kids come. So when I moved to a neighborhood it was awesome having the chance to celebrate with real trick and treaters. But, now the neighborhood has grown up and all the kids(mine included) have left and moved on. But I still love the day.

I have to admit the weather here has been amazing, I have been out by the pool sunning myself. But, I do worry about my friends in New York and back east.

Last week we went to Seaworld, it was a great day of being outdoors. Absolutely no body was there. No crowds what so ever. Just an amazing day.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Wow does time fly

Things are going well, hitting the gym as much as possible, min 5 days a week. My surgery is scheduled for November 7. When the scheduler first called with this date, I was like yikes. That is the day my mom passed away. So, I asked if there was another date, perhaps sooner. She said she might be able to get me in on Halloween. Yikes again. My family is bonkers over Halloween, they just love this holiday. I am not going to ruin their holiday, especially should God forbid something go wrong. So, Nov 7 it is.

Before the surgery I have to do the colonoscopy prep again(Wonderful eh?). The surgeon, who is very nice and has a very sarcastic sense of humor. I was laughing so much during my consult. We were gossiping about plastic surgeons.  The doctor said that after the surgery I will have issues with diarrhea for a few months. Great!  I will need to stock up on Scott TP for sure.

Well, I hope to return to work the beginning of the New year. My doctor has me out for longer. But, I would like to go back sooner.

The weather here is in the high 90's. Bummer. I am hoping to see some cooler weather. Last week, we had some actual rain. The kids and I went to a place called Bates Nut Farm. We had a great time.  I call them kids but they are 24 and 19. Haha, but they both went into the petting zoo to pet the baby animals. They had a pot bellied pig, a black one. Both of them said to me, hey mom Dakota is here. Dakota is my Black lab, she was a bit chubby and she and I have been doing some dieting and walking together so she has lost a lot of weight. But they still thought it was funny. :(

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Its been awhile for sure.

I met with my primary family doctor. She explained the surgery for me a bit. She did prepare me that the surgery is fairly intense and that there is still a slight(She didn't add slight) that they might find cancerous cells in the pathology after surgery. She is completing my disability forms, she put me out until 2/1/13. She put it out there in case chemo would be needed. She really is sweet. She told me
"things will get better, just not today".  Surprisingly it did make me feel better.

 I have been going to work to put all my little ducks in a row(as in staffing). I am the manager and Executive Assistant for the Director. I have been told before that I am his right hand.  I always laugh and say uh no I dont do that...Sorry mind in gutter. I actual work with his wife, she is the assistant Director. I cant leave them hanging they really do rely on me. I do try to make their job easier. They have a stressful job. The more I can do for them the more the have time to focus on their patients.

Friday, I meet the surgeon. I am feeling extremely anxious.  I have been going to the gym everyday and eating good. Really need to get in tip top shape.  I know after my gall bladder surgery, I was walking right from the gurney to my bed and all night. I was back at the gym 7 days later.

I know it wont be like that as this surgery is more severe, but I have high hopes. Hey my dear friend Allan, keep up the good post and kick butt attitude. I read it daily and it helps me stay focus on the gym and what I must do. This is more than just for weight loss but for my life buddy.

I have been really tuning into my spiritual side and talking with God a lot.  I am really going to need him and I want him to know that. Sometimes, I get brief panic attacks, and I ask him to send calming light to me. It helps beleive me.

I will let you know what the surgeon says. I hear he is exceptionally good looking. Hmmm, maybe it's time for a waxing.?? I think so. : )

Friday, September 14, 2012

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Pathology report is in

The physician called me and the pathology report states benign. Thank you Lord.
Now my brothers tumor was reported 3x as benign then came back as inoperable cancer. But this is not my brothers tumor and I am holding faith that after the surgery it will still be all benign.

I feel like a new woman. The trial is over and the path report came back in my favor.  One thing I thought about while I was facing my mortality was how are my kids going to remember me. And all I could think about was the regret for not getting all my weight off and the kids remembering me as fat. I know they would remember the love I had for them, but when looking at picture they would see a fat mom. I feel like I have been given a second chance. I am going to run with it. I am changing my life as I know it. I am going to lose all the weight, I am going to become healthier and become a better person.
For the colonoscopy I pretty much couldnt eat for nearly 48 hrs and you know what it didnt kill me. Ironically I wasnt even hungry. I could drink my fluids and I survived. So, if I can do that, who knows what I can do when I set my mind to it. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

From the depths of my heart I cant thank you all enough. My friends Betty, Margene, Julie and my good friend Allan and all his followers . What truly kind people. They didnt even know me, but came and wished me well and sent prayers and positive thoughts. I am so touched by the kindness I received and am blessed with knowing some wonderful and good people. God Bless you all.

It's done.

— A young man accused of racing another driver on state Route 52, which led to a crash that killed two East County teens and injured others, pleaded guilty today to a felony charge.
Michael S. Johnson, 18, admitted he engaged in a speed contest last April and will likely be placed on probation at a sentencing hearing next month.
Under the conditions of probation, he will have to serve 180 days in county jail and complete 30 days of volunteer work with Mothers Against Drunk Driving or a similar organization.
If he violates any of those terms, he could be sent to prison.
San Diego Superior Court Judge Eugenia Eyherabide accepted Johnson’s plea and scheduled a status conference for Sept. 21, when Johnson is expected to be taken into custody. Until then, he remains free on bail.
Johnson was one of two teenagers charged in connection with the crash that killed Anthony Foreman, 18, a graduate of El Capitan High School in Lakeside, and Jayli Campbell, 16, a student at Santana High School in Santee.
Johnson was among a group of teens who were returning home after a bonfire party at La Jolla Shores the night of April 4, when the crash occurred. Prosecutors said Johnson, who was driving a Volvo S40, and the driver of a Volkswagen Passat were racing at speeds exceeding 100 mph when the 16-year-old driver of the Volkswagen lost control.
The vehicle flipped several times before coming to rest.
The 16-year-old, who is not being identified because he was charged as a minor, pleaded guilty in Juvenile Court to gross vehicular manslaughter. He was placed on probation in July and ordered to spend up to a year in a youth camp.
Outside the courtroom, Deputy District Attorney Kristen Spieler said she hopes the case will send a message to people — particularly young drivers — that they can be held responsible if their actions contributed to the deaths or injuries of others. That’s true, she said, even if the accused wasn’t behind the wheel of a car that crashed.
As a result of Johnson’s plea, other charges filed against him, including vehicular manslaughter, were dropped.
Johnson’s lawyer, Russell Babcock, said outside the courtroom that his client chose to accept responsibility for participating in a speed contest and wants to begin serving his time in jail before his official sentencing date.
“We’re very saddened by the pain that the families feel and the losses that they’ve experienced,” Babcock said.
Parents of the teens who were killed were in the courtroom today. Mark Foreman, Anthony’s father, told reporters that the plea allows the families and the community to move forward.
At this point, he said, it’s difficult to determine whether the case resolved fairly. He said he may look back three years from now, when and if Johnson’s probation is done, and feel that justice was served.
“I don’t think (the word) ‘fair’ plays into this,” Foreman said. “He’s got challenges ahead and I recognize those challenges and they are strong.”
Johnson’s sentencing hearing is set for Oct. 10.

DA's office


(Last nights post)
Well the pretty little Assistant DA just called me and the other boy plead guilty so there will be no trial. I am so grateful not to have to go thru that right now. In a way, maybe it will be time for healing, I can only hope so. As I mentioned before there are no winners in this, only pain. But, Lord thank you for this.

My wonderful son googled colon cancer and tumors. He found out what I should eat and drink. So funny. I am such a big tea drinker, he had his dad go to Costco  and buy a BIG box of green tea and spinach and such. Apparently green tea is good for the colon. So to pacify him, I am drinking Green Iced Tea.  Also, I need to eat leafy greens,spinach,broccoli cauliflower and cabbage,  root veggies, legumes and blue berries and berries. Beets and onions. Whole grains. So, now he is watching everything I am eating and drinking. So for dinner, I am having a stir fry of spinach, onions, mushrooms, cabbage and my tofu shirataki noodles.

Well at least it is all good for the old diet. Lord I love that kid.


Monday, September 10, 2012

Thank you

I really appreciate all the kindness from you all. I feel like I am such a downer lately. So here!


Saturday, September 8, 2012

Well damn

I had the colonoscopy and it didnt go as planned. They found a tumor. Now I need to wait for the pathology report. Some of you might remember my brother was diagnosed last summer with inoperable colon cancer. So, I am scared. I sure could use some prayers from those of you who are willing to send them. Thank you.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Todays the day

Well in a couple hours I am off to the medical center for the test. You know what is really strange. I have not been allowed to eat, only drink clear liquids for nearly 48 hours. I am strangely not even hungry. It turns out apparently my body is well insulated with enough fat that it didn't even miss food. I have not even had hunger pains. Hmmmm, I dont know why, but I find that fascinating. Well off I go.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Crappola

Well yesterday I ended up at my doctors for an ear infection. I was hoping thinking that since I had an infection they might want to not do the colonoscopy tomorrow on me. Aren't the anus and ear closely related.?

Well of course she laughed in my face and said DO IT!. Bitch.  Just kidding. She gave me antibiotic ear drops. Now I cant hear in one ear and I can't eat for two days. Hmmmm great. I stocked up on Iced tea and diet Pepsi and crystal light and yummy water. Today at 3:00 I have to take the poop maker and then again tomorrow at 7:00 am. I go in tomorrow at noon and then they sedate me.(Thank God) Not sure I could have controlled my reaction when the try to stick the tube up my bootie. I mean really no wine, cuddling or dinning first? Serioulsy I am not that kinda gal.

The medical group sends these recorded messages to my phone.. Get this damn test done. Of course they are much nicer. I go to my PCP, first question is not how are you, but when is your colonoscopy. Criminey. Ok, I do know I need it, but with my brother having inoperalable stomach/colon cancer it is stressful wondering what the results will be.

Oh well, I guess I will drop of a few lbs in the process. Well a few prayers wont hurt thats for sure.
I may sound like I'm laughing, but its the Xanax kicking in. : )

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Squash


A friend gave us these squash. Now, I have seen them before but dont know how to cook them. Anyone have any suggestions.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Brilliant idea

After reading Margene's blog, http://believingitspossible.blogspot.com/ 
I realized this weekend is perfect for a veggie weekend. The fella's are all gone hunting. I think I will clean out the fridge, I will grab all the veggies that are left over and throw them together and roast them. I will have my dinners set for the weekend and a cleaned out fridge. Brilliant idea I say. Thanks Margene!

Its hard to tell

But it is darker
Ok, its really hard to tell.lol




Thursday, August 30, 2012

Sorry about yesterday

I sure hope I didnt offend anyone with that silly story from yesterday. I think I carry an inner teenage boy in my spirit. Those type of things crack me up.**hangs head in shame**  ; ).

For some reason my spirit feels high and happy today. So, I want to thank God for that. It is sure a blessing to feel happy,  for what ever reason.

Last night we have an amazing lightening storm. Kept me awake most of the night, so I am exceptionally tired. But it was so worth it. I loved it.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Fart stories are funny

I am still crying from laughing so hard; so I had to share...enjoy!


Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it's the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (that's "Silent But Deadly" for you prudes).

It was about five years ago. I was trying to lose a few pounds so I was staying away from carbs. That's when I met my husband, Rob. On our first date, he booked the next two. He liked me. I liked him. Things were looking real good. He picked me up in a Cobra, Mustang and his pathetic attempt to win me over with a car totally worked. I'm not shallow, but since I spent most of my twenties picking men up because I didn't want my hair to frizz in their non-air conditioned jalopies on 3 wheels and a
15 year old spare, I welcomed his fancy sports car with open arms. We arrived at the restaurant and Rob was ordering food I hadn't allowed myself to eat in years. I didn't want to be "that girl" so I ate, drank, and oh, was I merry. Later we shopped a bit. Rob surprised me by buying an expensive pair of shoes that he caught me eyeing. Was this love?

That's when it happened. Gas strikes in two different ways - uncontrollable toots or sharp, shooting pains that feel a lot like dying. I thought I was dying. Not to make a scene, I told Rob I suddenly wasn't feeling well and probably needed to head home. On the way home in his Cobra, he tried to hold my hand and ask me lots of questions, but I wasn't having any of it. The pain was so bad it felt like I was being stabbed with a bunch of tiny forks.
Then I realized ...

My God, help me. I have a horrendous fart on deck. I'm in trouble. Big trouble. The more I held it in, the more pain would shoot through my stomach and down my legs. I was even having to raise myself off the seat, gripping on to my door and the dashboard. "Seriously, you need to hurry - I'm in a lot of pain." I managed to say through gritted teeth.

"Wow, it's that bad? What's wrong? Do I need to take you to a hospital?"
How do you tell a man you just started dating that the reason you're writhing in pain is because you have to fart?

Well, you can either tell him, or like me, let the fart speak for itself.
People, hear me. There was nothing I could do. As impressive as I am with sphincter control, this was out of my hands. Slowly, it eeked out.
The more I tried to stop it, the more it forced it's way through the door. However, to my pleasant surprise, there was no sound. I sat silently, sweat accumulating above my upper lip. Ok, maybe I got away with it. Maybe I'm home free. Then it hit me. Not an idea, a cloud. A horrific, fart cloud.
Not in a, "am I smelling something?" sort of way. More like a "is someone dead and rotting in your trunk and am I in hell?" sort of way.

Suddenly, I panicked. "Roll down the windows!" I screamed (yes, I literally screamed it like I was in a horror movie).

"What? Why?" Rob asked, starting to freak out because I was freaking out.
"I can't roll down the windows, unlock it! UNLOCK IT!"

"What's going on?" Rob yells back to me, "Why are you ..." then it hit him.
I could see it in his eyes. Was it surprise? Horror? Water started to accumulate at the base of his eyelids, "Oh my God, I CAN TASTE IT!" he screamed.

"Roll down the windows!" As I screamed, the toots started to flood out uncontrollably. I scratched and clawed at the window like I was being kidnapped. Rob, unable to see either by fart cloud or panic, kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of unlocking the window.

It was chaos. We were acting like we were under siege by gun fire. We were under siege alright, just not by gun fire.

Finally he was able to hit the right control and he rolled down our windows.
We both gulped in fresh air. I was horrified, yet happy to be alive, then remembered I just farted on the man of dreams, then sorta wished I was dead.

We sat silently for the rest of the way home. Although the shooting pains had subsided, I now desperately needed to use the bathroom, in an urgent, explosive kind of way. He pulled up to my apartment and before he could come to a stop I had already jumped out, "Ok, thanks for dinner, sorry about the fart, love the shoes!" and ran in to my apartment like I was running from the cops.

I burst through my door and ran straight for the bathroom, where I was finally able to unleash and make noises that no one should ever, EVER, hear coming from another person.

Then I heard it. Rob's voice. Right. Outside. My. Bathroom. Door.

"Anna? You left your shoes in my car and your front door was open. Where do you want me to put them?"

"Get away from the door!" I scream like Reagan from The Exorcist. "Ok, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

*toot* *toot* *splatter* *ungodly noise*

"I'm fine, Rob - just leave the shoes there. I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay, are you sure you're ..."

"I'm fine! Get away from the door!"

This man! I mean, I love him, but take a freakin' hint!

Finally, I heard the front door shut, and the Cobra engine zoom away. I thought that was the last I'd hear from him. I didn't think it was possible to ever see a man again after he screams he can taste your fart after only knowing you for 48 hours. But, to my surprise, I did. A couple days later, actually. Now we're married and he's laying on the couch while I type this ... "It was your rack that saved you," he just lovingly reminded me.

Well, thank you boobs. You saved us. You saved our destiny.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Oye my aching body

This weekend I needed to clean out my aviary. I might have mentioned before that I have an aviary in my back yard with a bunch of cockatiels in it. Its about 7 feet long, 6 feet high and maybe 4 feet wide or something like that. Well birds are a messy group, they like to play in their food and dig through for there favorite things then the floor gets covered in seed. So, you would think it would be easy to rake clean. Well you'd be wrong, for one this I cant leave the door open or they would fly away. (So rude of them). So as not to stress them out, I get a small bucket, liners and a duster bottom and a tiny little scoop. Then I squat and rake it into the bucket, when it fills up, I take it out, replace the liner and continue. Well yesterday my ass and back of my thighs were killing me from squatting so much. And as I drink a ton of fluids I had to pee a lot. OMG, that killed to squat to take a tinkle. Oh well, I will survive and who knows maybe start doing more squats. Apparently it works those muscle.

Yesterday I come home from work, check my answering machine since it was blinking. Now I have a call from the defending attorneys office. He is going to call me today. Great.

Next week, I have to get a colonoscopy. Really it is no surprise to me that I keep getting heart palpitations. Life is grand!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Earthquakes

Well Sunday was a quakey day here. Ironically I didnt feel a one. Hmm. Saturday I went to my hairdresser and asked her to darken my hair a bit, the pool keeps lightening it. So she did. I like it. But she was really concerned about me. She said I was not myself. Maybe I wasnt. I dont know, a little low down I guess. But this weekend should be nice and quiet. Work is the same and so is home. So maybe its just a little life burnout. A couple of lines from a song that seems to fit right now.  Hey, I am sure it will pass.


I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here
 I’m staring down myself,
counting up the years

I think I’m moving but I go nowhere


Friday, August 17, 2012

What just happened

Its lunch time just ate my 250 calories salad, incl dressing. Still hungry, or maybe not, I know for sure its PMS. I was so craving chocolate. So I went to the cafe on the first floor. I was looking for something, I dont know what but something sweet. I looked at the pastries mmmmmmm, but not what I wanted. So I started looking at the chocolate, I mean that was what satisfy PMS always. But that wasnt it.
Next to the chocolate was a bowl of fruit. WTF are they kidding me, who wants fruit versus chocolate. My mind did... I mean my tummy was like give me chocolate, but my mind was saying do you know how many miles it would take to burn that chocolate.


DAMN DAMN DAMN..... I got an apple and a banana for later.... What happened to me :(

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Hmm something interesting

Today at work I have been swamped, then to top it off I have to deal with a difficult employee Ugh.
I had enough, I was so pissed so I left before I said something that I really wanted to say. So I took my walk. Its hot, but much better than it has been. So I waddle my ass to the parking structure and did my walk. Its so funny, I was so pissed and I walked so fast. I did those levels X2 so fast I couldn't believe it. So, remind me to get pissed again because it was awesome. It was so funny, at least to me, how fast I did it. I walked back to my office and my boss asked if I was OK. He knew I was pissed, and I laughed and said I feel so much better.

I have been hooked on this Peak Iced tea,(Diet) I have been bringing the 59 oz bottle to work and drink it in no time flat. I know I should make my own, but I'm lazy. I will make it on weekends, but it is so convenient to bring it. Plus I have my 2.5 gallon of Arrowhead water. I am not fond of Arrowhead, but I usually add crystal light so what the hell, its cheap.

Well lets recap my post, apparently I have anger issues, I am lazy and cheap. Hmmmmm

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The heat is on......

Well, I hate to complain since the bulk of the US has had to deal with the heat most of the summer. But, I'm a So Cal gal and thats what we do. OK, last month my SDG&E bill was nearly 300 bucks. Now, that is without this current heat wave which is to last at least thru next week. So, hmmm what will it be next month. 400 bucks. OMG... but what do you do. It is triple digit and sucks.

Walking has taken every ounce of will-power to do. It is really really hot, but the parking structure has helped. But the drinking of Iced Tea, water and crystal light has been a breeze.

Now, we dont run the AC until about 2pm. You see my darling son is home, college summer break. Apparently he has been trying to get a job all summer. Now, dont crucify me because I have my doubts about that. Now, I love my son dearly he is my heart and soul as is my daughter. But, the boy stays up til 3am and sleeps til 2pm. Now exactly when the (f-bomb) is he looking. He goes back to school in about a weeks time so hells bells I think the job opportunity has slipped by us.

Labor day, the men in the house are going hunting. Apparently it is opening day. They go to this hell hole, smelly-ass town called El Centro. Now, you truly can smell this town miles away before you even get there. It is a farming town and in the midst of the desert. It is usually unbearably hot and miserable. But, the good thing is I will have the entire Labor day holiday with the house to myself (and the dogs). Now, the guys usually hunt for Dove. To be honest, Dove is not a delicacy and is about the size of my cockatiels. What a waste of time. I wont even eat them. They are usually full of shot and you have all these dang tiny pellets in them. Ugh awful....Oh well, I will enjoy the peace and quiet.




Monday, August 13, 2012

Monday's suck!

Ya, me a grouchy biotch today, so forgive me. Our new tenants moved in Saturday. I hope they are as good as they made themselves out to be. I am such a naive fool at times, I really am.

I met with the Assistant DA, got to say, she is a pretty little thing and loves dogs. Hmmm, who da thunk it.  We met for an hour at my house, I was recorded for my depo. I was given a subpoena for the trial which is slated for 9/11. Seriously could it have come on a worse fricking date. I asked them to please not subpoena my daughter as she didn't see anything I didn't see and in fact less. When I talked to her about it last week she wasn't answering me on the phone as I talked, I then asked are you still there, and in a tiny voice she said yes. Poor thing was crying. I hate bringing back these memories for her. But, they said they had to subpoena her too. They said we would come on the same day so we would be together.

This weekend sucked. It was 104 on Saturday and I had to go buy a fridge for the rental. It seemed worse on Sunday.  On Sunday, we had a lot of rain clouds(no rain for us) a lot of humidity but with the cloud cover made it a perfect time to go swimming for a while. Of course, the pool is luke warm from the heat. But all in all it was refreshing. The dogs enjoyed the swim also. I had to give the birds in the aviary a shower so I turned on the sprinkler for them. They loved it.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Do I remember it

I got a phone call tonight from the DA's office. He said" I am calling you about a fatal accident that happened on August err April ummmm 4th. I have that you and your daughter were witnesses. Do you remember it? "   Really, I mean really dude, do I remember it?? I felt like asking him WTF. I said "Do I remember it.......................... do I remember it................ummm nearly every night."  He and his partner are coming over tomorrow AM to my house to meet with me. Great, no sleep tonight.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

What a great USA soccer game!

Heatwave

Wowza, yesterday was frickin hot as heck. And that was to be the coolest day of the week. The rest of the week will be triple digits. Yesterday at lunch, I took a different path for my walk. I need to get far away from work. Just needed a change of scenery. It was hot, on the way back from my walk I stopped at the ED and they have a water and Ice machine and I grabbed a cup of ice and chewed it back to my office. It was a great help. Then I drank a couple of tall cups of Iced tea within a few minutes.

Today, I will most likely walk in the parking structure. It is boring, there are only so many cars I can admire as I walk. But, it will be so much cooler than hitting the streets.

Last night I get home and my darling son had the AC on for me..aaawww.. But after a while I just had to go for a swim, that pool was calling  my name... I am sure it will again tonight. 

We have a little garden growing in our backyard. Last night I  peeled and diced up some butternut squash and roasted it with some carrots. It was so yummy. Its fun cooking what you grow. Our tomatoes are so much better than store bought. Heck, I just might do it again tonight but maybe add some salmon. I buy my salmon at Costco. Its a big fillet, then I slice it up in about a 2.5 to 3 inch steaks and freeze them individually. So I just grab a bag when ever I want my salmon. It is so nice.  I love me some seafood, especially salmon.

Wednesday and Thursday the plastering crew are going to stucco the rental. I must say, I really feel sorry for them. It will be unbelievable hot. Well, I guess thats why the get the big bucks.


Friday, August 3, 2012

Hmm Hmm GOOD

Ok, last night I got off my bootie and prepared better for my breakfast today and lunch. I made a yummmy egg white omelet with zucchini and baby bells and shredded chicken breast. I added a little Topatio. Much better than crunchy over-cooked LC pizza. 

I am so happy today is Friday, this weekend we should be almost done with the rental house. Once inside is done, we are then having the house re-stuccoed.

I am so hoping for a peaceful weekend.
Work has been so stressful and busy lately. Ugh. But I have a good job and should count my blessings.

My lunch walks have been really good and positive for me. Of course, I havent found any more money. Damn MD's why cant they drop a few bucks out of their lab coats when they get out/in their cars. I also haven't seen the little coyote for a while. They are still doing tons of construction out here so I think they scared him off to the other canyon.

Weather wise, its been humid but ok really. I sure am wanting to see some rain though. I love rain and of course we rarely get it. Years ago, and I mean many years ago, when I was pregnant, I was dying in the heat and I use to watch the weather channel and look at the rain in other places. It made me feel better. Yep, I just jinxed myself, now we'll get flooding... yep thats me.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

OK, I dont do this often

But yesterday I stayed home sick. I have an ear infection but that started Monday and I can deal with that at work. Actually it makes worker easier since I cant hear out of that ear. :)  But I  woke up from sleep at 4:30 with stomach pain. I thought I was dreaming until I realized "damn I am awake". I felt like crappola. So, I stayed home. UGH.... Today I needed to come to work no matter what. I have two meetings tomorrow and so much other stuff. I had a MD appointment for Friday, but moved it til next week. Two days off in one week is tough, so if I can avoid it I will. My MD appointment is for leg cramps. I get the cramps in my calfs or thighs or feet nearly everyday. I thought it was from walking, but I have been doing that for over a year now and damn, I should be used to it. So maybe it is from something else.

This AM, I didnt feel like making something for breakfast so I heated a lean cuisine pizza. I have to ask, but is it strange that I over cook it so that it is very crunchy. It makes it harder to eat and I eat it slower.  If it is soft, then I eat it on two to three bites. Where as, the over-done version takes me twice as long. I know, it is weird.....Then because it is over done, I drink more of my Iced tea...which fills me up even more. Bahaha...This is so weird.

The weather is getting cooler which helps with my walks. Monday during my walk I found a dollar. Wohoooooo. So the rest of the walk I kept looking for more. O!
I wonder if I will find any today?

Friday, July 27, 2012

TGIF

Well I have said it before and I will say it again and again. TGIF.  What a long week this has been at work. I have only had a lunch break once this week so far. Labor relation issues with a staff member. Ugh.

But, next week will be different, as God is my witness(and he is) I am going to walk everyday if not for my physical needs but also for my mental needs.

I am getting restless, I told my daughter I need to plan for an adventure. I told her I wouldnt mind going to Las Vegas again near the end of the year. But, I want to plan something smaller sooner. She said she will think on it. She is good about planning trips. Comic Con, wasn't my idea of a vacation. It actually was very stressful and not restful what so ever.

I don't know maybe go back to the Queen Mary for a night or two. It really was beautiful. There is also a nice aquarium in the Long Beach area I think. I have been craving some forest views lately. I wish we didnt live so far from the Redwoods, that is so beautiful. Hmmm, I dont know maybe just some rest and relaxation and maybe a weekend in the pool will help.

Friday, July 20, 2012

There is true evil in our world

Poor Colorado they have been through so much this year. It is so sad.  So many people, especially young have been waiting for this movie to come out. It breaks my heart. It is so senseless. My prayers go out to them.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Whoa!!! baby the heat is on.

Yikes is awfully hot here at work, and if it is hot here coastal, I don't want to think what it is like at home. YIKES..

Well let me tell you about Comic Con..UGH...so many people. We got to see everything we wanted to, such as the Twilight panel. My daughter loves them. We saw Supernatural, Fringe, Vampire Diaries, True Blood, Simpson, and so fricking much more. Now, mind you, some of these actors are really really cute. But I am not a fan of Hollywood per se. But my daughter is crazy about it. We also hit the exhibition room where breathing and moving are a luxury.  We went all 4.5 days. I have to admit, I don't think I will be back. I enjoy the time with my daughter and her pals, but eff this. The majority of the people who come to this are NOT nice, nor friendly. I suppose who would be when you cant even move a step without walking into someone else.

Now my daughter is sick, sore throat, fever aches and pains. Its not a surprise, that's for sure. Too many germs and such. Seriously if you are sick, yet you have booked your flight and hotel, paid for your high priced tickets, you are going to go. I see that, but it will get everyone else sick.

One of our tenants moved out of our rental. They were such a lovely couple, she just had a baby about a month ago. Poor thing driving all the way back to So. Dakota with a newborn is gonna suck. He was retired from the military and she was still in it, but laid off. Ok, I don't know what it is called, but she left. She didn't want to, they actually were hoping she stayed in another 10 years and then retire. I sure would have been happy for them to stay another 10 years in the house. You couldn't ask for better people. Ugh, now we have to replace the carpet, tile, stove and paint before we rent it again. Not that they destroyed anything, its just that it is all old and this is a good time for it.


The other day, I was feeding my birds in the aviary and next to it was a damn snake. I am so scared of snakes.. It was a gopher snake, and is good for the yard to get rid of mice. It cant get in the aviary so my birdies are all safe. But, now I am scared every time I walk out, I have to look everywhere. DAMN

I have been drinking so much fluids lately, I got so dehydrated at Comic Con, let me tell you the one room we were in, the big room, holds about 6000 people, and they have one Woman's, and one men's room. Several stalls in each, but one room. The lines sucked. I decided not to drink much...

Stay cool if possible!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Comic Con

Oh my, I survived comic con. It was absolutely crazy. Back to work today and I am exhausted. My desk is full of work and messages are everywhere. Yikes. I will tell you more later. Have a great Monday.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Boys and their toys

New boat for the boys. Apparently Dakota likes it also.
Now, momma's gift is a home with some peace and quiet when they go fishing.
Its a win-win in my house. : )

The picture above Dakota is my son's rifle, apparently it is a mans version of accessories. It matched the boat.




Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Crazy busy

Well things have been a bit hectic. The bosses left for their vacation and when they do they leave me a ton of things to do while they are gone. Not including my normal job. Buttheads, lol. But I have been walking and walking. I even went and bought me some new walking shoes at Roadrunner. I love their shoes, but hate their prices. Yikes. But, Saturday I walked Lake Murray, which is about 6.5 miles. Then I took my Dakota out for a long walk. By the end of the day, I had over 20K steps. That is a first for me ever....

Yesterday was my sons first Jury duty ever. I actually took him and then dropped him off after showing him the ropes. I then came home and thought wow I might have an actual peaceful quiet day.  Wishful thinking I say. First, I took care of the doggies, Dakota with her shot, then Luke with is Prednisone and ear drops. He has a yeast infection in his big ole droopy ears. He shakes his head some much it cause his ear to swell, it looks like a cauliflower ear. Poor baby. Then after that I gave all the dogs a flea treatment. Then I cleaned the kitchen. Then I did a couple of loads of laundry. Then I vacuumed. Then I went to Costco. Then I went to pick some food up for my boy and picked him up from his lunch break at Jury duty. I asked him what time do you have to go back. He said, he is done. They released everyone who wasnt called in the morning. He said only one group was ever called. Wow he was so lucky. I have never been released that early.

So, I bring him home. It was really hot yesterday, near 90 degrees. I was thinking it sure would be nice to take a nap near the fan. But some reason, I just couldn't rest. So, I went to Smart and Final to pick up some Torani's sugar free syrups and tea bags. Then I headed to the gym. I wanted to try out my new shoes I got on Sunday. So I hit the treadmill. I did 3 miles and ummm, my feet hurt. I should have taken it slowly on working in my new shoes. Oh well. Yesterday I hit over 10K steps. Yeah me!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Not sure what to do anymore

I havent posted often lately, because its seems like I am always down in the dumps. My weight is stalled, even tho I keep walking my bootie off and I seem to always be hungry. So apparently I am not over eating and I eat the right foods.

I am also having a lot of PTSD, I keep feeling so low and I wonder if I did all I could have done for the boys in the car crash. I know its been two months, but its getting worse. I keep thinking if there was more I could have done, should I have done CPR on the one boy. I knew he was dead, but maybe I could have brought him back. I know the other boy had an unsurvivable injury. I dont want to say how I know because it is too horrific. But, what if I could have saved the other boy. I wonder if I did enough for the other kids. Did I give them enough comfort, did I let them know I cared and was there for them.
God, it is getting so much worse. I am even starting to cry more when I am alone. I know people say to get counselling. But truthfully, I dont think I want to talk about it, it will bring it all back to the forefront.

I dont want to talk about with people I know, because they probably think "get over it". Its really getting hard to cope.

I want to be positive here, and sometimes I say I am when I'm not. But, the truth is I am suffering and feel lost.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Things going well

Yesterday was all misty here at work. I walked over to the hospital and I was thinking, man I dont want get my hair all wet walking today. Dang... Then it occurred to me that we have a parking structure. DING, DING DING..so I walked over and did my walking in the parking structure. It is 4 levels, so I walked down four levels, then walked up, the turned around and walked down four levels and then I took the elevator up. LOL yes I did. I guess my goal is to increase the amount of times I walked back up the four levels. Now the parking level is big, so walking down just one level, is like you walk down a level then turn the corner and walk down another level, again then turn the corner and you are on a new level and so on. So it is a lot more walking than it sounds. But, I was disappointed that I couldnt go back up the 4 levels,(Which is really 8 in a way). Maybe today I will do better.

Friday, June 1, 2012

I'm here

Sorry for the lack of posting.  Last weekend I had 5 days off. It was so nice. Thursday the kids and I and a friend went to the casinos. I lost big, kids did better. We ate at the buffet. I tried to stick to good things. I had the Salmon (of course) and some swordfish(a bit dry) and crab legs, (Messy). I got about 4 desserts and we split them amongst the four of us. We tried a bit of each. We had more than half still left over.

Friday, we were going to go to Seaworld for the new ride that was opening, but it was rainy. I dont like going to seaworld in the rain. So, I went to the gym instead.

Saturday went to the gym. Later went to another buffet(Chinese) with the guys. Ate to much, nothing that good for me. Stomach hurt like heck. It was only one plate, but way to much food. But the shrimp was really good.

Sunday we went and got a new TV for the living room. The old one was a 65 inch, projector type. The picture was becoming bad, and I didnt want to fix it as it was so big. So, we went to a furniture store and got a TV media center thingy and I got some bedding at clearance shelf.(Score)

Then we went to Best buy and got a 60 inch flat screen. It and the new media center is still so much smaller than the old TV. My front room looks so much bigger now. We put the old TV on Craigslist for free, within 30 minutes we had like 5 calls. Crazy. The first guy came and picked it up. Ya had to have a truck for sure for that monster. I think he is going to repair and resale. What ever. Good luck to him.

Monday was my birthday and my son baked me a cake. He tried to make it somewhat low calorie. He used the spice cake mix and a can of pumpkin. He used the premade cream cheese frosting in a can. It was pretty nice looking. The cake tasted amazing. Way to good.

Of course, I gained a pound and a half. No surprise. But, I am back to being good. Even if I was losing too slowly. Better slow than not at all.

This weekend the is a Holistic living expo on Sunday. I think I am going to go to it. I have free passes. You know I am into that kind of spiritual stuff. Should be fun.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Happy birthday to meeeeee

Yeah I am another year older. Whoopieeeee.

Anyhoo, its a beautiful day today. Everyone enjoy it and be safe.
Send a prayer to those that gave their all!.
God Bless them

Thursday, May 17, 2012

New recipe

Shirataki with a kick. I decided since I had a lot of kale left I should use it. I made Kale chips, but I just dont like them. They  are crispy and salt, but too bitter. So I gave some kale to my cockatiels. Hope they like it.
So, I sauteed some onions and added kale. Then I added some veggie burger crumble. I wanted to add a can of stewed tomatoes but all I had was Rotel. So I said what the heck. Here it is.
The picture didnt turn out so well. But, for the entire plate is was 393 calories. But, it was way too much to eat. So it made two good size meals at 197 calories each. CRAZY

OK, so I am not going to complain.

Well I lost another 1.5 lbs, apparently my body sucks. I think that brings the total to almost 11 lbs since I started this program. The new medication though does make me feel better. The MD did say that it will take a couple of weeks for it really starting to take affect/effect (which one do I use?) on the hormonal issues. So, God grant me patience's.

Tonight I am going to try my hand at the shirataki noodles again but this time Italian style. Hmm, cant wait. Next weekend is Memorial weekend and I will get 5 days off. (The Monday is my birthday). So the kids and I plan on doing a few things those days for fun. They deserve it too, finals will be over and their summer will start.

Yesterday my daughter called me and said she was doing some yard work and heard a rattlesnake. She said when she was raking near this ivy she heard it. She at first wasn't sure, so she did it again and sure enough it rattled again. Her little brother(6ft tall little brother) came over and he did the same thing and it did it again. But because it was in ivy they never saw it. Of course, I am telling them stay away, bring the dogs in and close all the doors. She lives in a area called Santee, and right near the lakes and hills. During the summer, these dang snakes are literally slithering everywhere in the streets and yards. Ugh it scares me so.  I called animal control and they said they would come out if they saw it and new exactly where it was. Well they never saw it. I also, took down a number of a guy that will come out and take care of it. But, its not cheap, like a couple hundred dollars. Yikes. I told her to get her BB gun out and keep it handy. Heck, I didnt know what else to do... It scares me soo.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Oh heck I forgot to tell you

On Mothers Day, nice weather, we BBQ ribs and chicken and corn. I made a salad and cut some of the roasted corn kernels into my salad and that was all I had, just the salad. But it was good! Yeah me.... Also.. I went to the gym to celebrate Mothers day. LOL.. It wasn't very crowded at all. I am sure everyone else were all celebrating. It was really nice. Today is weigh in, so I will see what happened. It kinda sucks, the last days at work I didnt get a lunch break, so no walking. But today, about 9:15am, I had to walk over to the hospital and I noticed it was getting a bit warm, so I called my assistant from the lobby and told her I was going to take my lunch now and go for a walk while it was quiet. So I did. : )

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Shirataki noodles

My first experience with them and this is the results.


This entire plate was about 346 calories. Now mind you, I actually thought I could eat it all. But I was only able to eat half as there was so much of it.

I have heard of these noodles for awhile, and I finally went to Ranch 99, an Asian market and picked them up. I followed some of the hints peeps have said to do, such as wash several times very well, then dry them very well. I then cooked them on a hot (Pam sprayed) pan for about 5-10 minutes to dry them even more. I then removed them and added all my diced veggies. Once they were soft, I added the noodles back in and added a tablespoon of lite Soy sauce. I was very very pleased with the results. I can image all the wonderful other ideas to use these noodles for. Nice !

Friday, May 11, 2012

Hallelujah

Hallelujah it is Friday. I went Wednesday and lost another 1 lb. But that is too slow, so they changed my medication. It is suppose to help with the hormonal thingy. I decrease the old one, and I started the new one. So, I have high hopes. Today, I actually feel better. My back/neck feels so much better and things just look brighter. Its sad that being in so much pain can damper ones outlook on life. But, sometimes you just get so tired of being in physical pain, that the mental issues come out.

Happy Mothers day to all the women out there. Happy Mothers day to my Mom. I love you and I miss you and someday we will be together again.

Yep, things are looking better .

Monday, May 7, 2012

A little blue



Yep, I feel a little down in the dumps. I haven't blogged lately since nothing exciting has happened. I lost 1.5 lb at the weightloss clinic last week. That certainly didnt help my blues. I have been so faithful on the diet and kicking bootie on the exercise. In 5 weeks I have only lost 8.5 lbs. :( 

Maybe it is hormonal as TOM showed signs 3 weeks ago, but never came. So, I am 3 weeks late and feel like crude. My tummy is bloated and I am feeling really low and tired a lot. Sometimes I dont want to get out of bed. But of course that is on weekends. M-F, I am up before the crows. I did go to the gym yesterday and worked out. But the minute I get home... nada.

I went to Costco and bought a bunch of veggies since they now allow veggies on the diet. I love Brussel sprouts. So last night for dinner I cut up a bunch of Brussels, cauliflower, baby bells, carrots, onions, zucchini and roasted them with a bit of salt and pepper. So good, I had that for dinner and enough for tonight. Sweet.

The weather has been nice, I laid out by the pool for a bit. It was really nice, the dogs are all swimming and then, God love them, they come by me and shake the water off of them and then they request a butt scratch from me.
If you are ever attacked by a Labrador, just scratch their backs/butt  and you will OWN them.

Yep, I hope the blues go away soon.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Rest in Peace Junior


You will always be a Charger in San Diego's heart. We loved you buddy. I hope you find peace.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Wait? what it's not Saturday?

When the alarm went off this morning at 5:00, I thought aaw man I set my alarm and its Saturday. I laid there for a moment and my head cleared and I thought for a minute "is it Saturday?"   Waaagh no it wasnt. Oh my gosh, of course my mind was actually saying "WTF". But I dont want to type that. Yes, I try to be a good person, but I slip.

Oh well tomorrow I will sleep in. Today though, when I stepped on the scale it finally moved down a 1 lb.  Yeah, lets keep that momentum.  Yesterday I went for a new walk, down a different path. I know, I am a wild woman. Woot Woot. It was kinda cool, I walked and saw new sites. I agree, my life is very boring. I text paged my friend (the RN) who's office is next door to mine. I told her to look out her back window. I was across the canyon and I waved to her. She texted back to flash her. LOL, crazy lady.
(No I didnt).

The walk ended up being a lot longer than usual and it took me about 70 minutes to get back. Yikes I was 10 minutes late from lunch. Oh well, I miss lunch a lot so I deserve it.  By the time I got back I was so thirsty. I ended up drinking about 32 oz of water. Then the rest of the afternoon I spent making trips to the potty. Sheesh.

Oh well, have a wonderful weekend. I hear our weather should be marvelous.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Oh my gosh

Mira's mom,

To my daughter: Can you name these guys. I am sure they remind you of our pack.lol
Mira-Yellow, Dakota-Black, Luke-Choc and the Deke as Meth..Its what he looks like when he first sees our pool. lol

For betty

lol- Please forgive me..I need to laugh

What a bummer

Tom is coming and feeling all bloated and crampy. Not a good thing for hump day. :(

I received my Walking DVD and darn it all I cant play it. I dont have the DVD player remote, only the TV's remote. So I tried and tried and then I call in the expert, my son, and he cant get it to move to the next level. I think you use the page down button but since I dont have the remote I cant do it. I was so excited to use it last night. So now I need to buy a Universal remote for the DVD player. Ugh.

Tonight is weigh in and I am pretty sure I haven't loss a thing. Such a struggle. But I am bloated as all get out. Well there is next week.  It might rain today so I sure could have used that extra walking on the DVD. So much for a good deal.  Oh boy, I am crabby today. Yikes I really must avoid people today, for their sake anyway. LoL.

Friday, April 20, 2012

It's worth a shot.

I just ordered this from Walmart.Leslie Sansone: Walk at Home - 5 Mile Fat Burning Walk . I had heard some good things about it, so I figured I could try it at home at night after work or weekends. It was under 10 bucks, so hey I am worth 10 bucks. Today after work I am meeting my daughter at the gym. She and her roomie are then going to the Rodeo in town. She  asked me if I wanted to go, but it is at 7pm. (Close to my bedtime, lol). So I sent her a text saying that I didnt want to steal all the hot cowboys way from you youngins, so I'll pass. he he. I crack myself up sometimes.

I took my Dakota to the Vet for her bi-weekly lab draw and while waiting I was talking to this lady who had her dog there for the same reason. She told me she gets her dogs meds from Wal-mart for 25 bucks. That is so much less than what I pay which is close to $75. So I left a message to the Vet to call in the brand that this lady uses to Wal-Mart. So I am hoping she will switch the brand for me.  I am sure she will. She is really nice. The needles were half the price also. Dakota' s level are still out of whack tho, so I need to increase in insulin. :(

Have a really wonderful weekend and be safe.

Hate when there is a line to the bathroom!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Well heck

Well I have been doing really well on the diet. So I come to weigh in and nada, nothing, zip loss.  After talking to the MD, she said it is the 800mg Ibuprofen I am taking for my back. (my back went out as usual). This retains water. Well, that sucks cause I cant stop taking it until my back gets better. I am actually kinda worried, my back has been going out a lot. I dont really want to go to the doctors, cause I dont want them to say that I need back surgery. I will never have back surgery, too many people come out of it with many many complications. (If they come out of it) I knew several cases where the patient had fatal complications. So forget about it!!

The weather here has been amazing. In my area at work its about 70is, which is perfect walking weather. At home, which is about 25 miles inland it is in the 80's and possibly the 90's. Iced Tea for me please :)



Monday, April 16, 2012

My pedometer

I was so excited to get one and then on weekends I dont even remember it. Sometimes I do and I dont even bother. Hmmm well I have it on today and went for my lovely walk. The weather is smashing. Beautiful temps and slight breeze and only going to get nicer I hear. Went to Walmart this weekend and bought a bunch of different Crystal lights, well actually I got Walmarts brand. I love them, I got the Mango Pineapple, Blueberry berry splash and Blueberry Acai.  I ended up spending 158 bucks at Walmart, I come home and the family said" I thought you went to get Crystal light".  Silly people, dont they know me by now?  But really, I was shocked at the amount. I really didnt get that much. Prices have gone through the roof. Ugh, I hate shopping.

My Dakota is doing great. She is still losing weight. The new dog food I got her, at the vets, sure makes her coat so soft and shiny. The dog food is expensive tho, 20lbs bag is 36.00. But, she loves it and it seems to love her. I need to find a dog food for the boys, maybe it will help them lose weight and get their coats all shiny. Right now they eat Iams. I use to think it was good for them, but apparently now there is new and improved dog foods out . I am sure it will be expensive also :(


Friday, April 13, 2012

True story

Friday the 13th.

Just the sound of that makes me want to watch a scary movie. It should rain tonight, much better to watch spooky movies with.

Things are moving on, slowly starting to think straighter. I did lose another 2 lbs on weigh in day. The walking at lunch helps clear the mind.

The drivers(16 & 18 yrs old) of those two cars from the accident are being charged with manslaughter. Is it wrong for me to think that they are already in jail for the rest of their life and that is enough? They will live with those memories and will suffer every day with that.  They are such young men and putting them in jail won't change what happened. It wont bring Jayli and Anthony back. They were kids making the wrong choice and will now suffer from the consequences. We were all kids and made some really dumb decisions, I know I did. All I can say is But for the grace of God....that could of been me or my kids or your kids.

I know not to many people will agree with this. Maybe under different circumstances neither would I. But after witnessing this, I am of a different mindset, hell I am a different person now.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Funny how time seems to keep moving

I have been struggling a bit with my emotions. Flashbacks are constant. But, I also feel so guilty about  feeling this way. After all, the parents and other kids are the ones that are hurting more than I can even imagine. I drive by that damn accident site ever morning and afternoon on my way to work and then home.  Work has kept my mind busy. My poor daughter has struggled and then now has a cold. Most likely related to the stress and lack of sleep. My eye is blood shot again, broken blood vessel same spot and same eye.

I want to thank you all for your kind comments and especially the prayers. I appreciate the email address, I will keep them in case I need more support.

The young girl came out of her coma and seems to be improving daily. Thank you God!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Nightmares

Well let me start out that I lost  5 lbs at my weight loss weigh in.

Wednesday, we went to see Chip Coffey (Psychic and Medium) . We left about 11:30 at night and driving home my daughter and I came up to this horrific car accident. It had just happened maybe 1-2 minutes earlier. There was a body in the freeway,and a lot of kids. We pulled over, I think we were the 2nd car that did. Some kids 15-17 yrs of age ran up to us and were in hysterics. My daughter was already on the phone to 911. We get out and I open the trunk to get the first aid kid and we grabs the flashlights. Our first thing to do was stop the traffic since it was was still smokey and dusty from the rollover. We didn't want cars to run over the boy in the road. Finally a couple of other cars stopped to help. Once they were there, I ran over to help the victims. Unfortunately for two it was apparent there was nothing I could do for them and the others were so hurt that my little first aid kit would do nothing for them. I tried to help the other kids in the other car who weren't hurt but were in hysterics and shock. They were just a group of kids coming home from a bonfire at the beach. We did the best we could, but it was such a horrific accident. It seems like forever before a police or paramedic came. About an hour or so later the CHP told us we could leave. We get to my car and the damn thing is dead. So I had to wait for AAA, unfortunately they had to come on the other side of the freeway since this one was closed. It took about another 30 plus minutes to come, but they jumped the battery and I could leave. But the whole time waiting, we had be there were those poor dead kids.  Two of the boys were DOA at the scene and three others were critical and I think the young girl is on life support.

I got home about 2 ish and my daughter and I both couldn't sleep. The memories just kept coming back. I get up a 6am and think maybe I can make it to work because sleep just wasn't happening. So I get up and my legs felt like jelly. I just couldn't do it.

Today I came to work as it will help keep my mind busy. What a horrible and sad, sad event for these poor kids.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Almost a full week

Well I have been back on the program almost a full week. I have to go in a day early since tomorrow I have plans at the Hotel Del Coronado...Sweeet. So, I have been on the program, done well, haven't caved in, no cheating here. Weekdays seem to work well for walking, the first day I did 8800 steps,(But I didnt use it all day) then the rest of the time 12K. But, the weekend was a bummer. I was really tired. It could be the new diet making me tired. So, I am hoping this upcoming weekend I will hit the gym at least for Saturday. Not sure if they will be open on Sunday, being Easter and all.

Tonight will be my first weigh in. So I would be interested in what I have lost.(Fingers crossed).

I use the oatmeal for breakfast, but I do something a bit different. I make them into cookies. I mix my oatmeal package with a bit of diet soda and maple extract. Then bake them. I think they are really good. You cant beat the easiness of it all. But, it seems to help me snack on it thru out the am. It gives me about 5 cookies. Ok, they are not really cookies per se, but they work for me. Well, wish me luck for tonight.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Pedometer

Well to help kick everything up a notch. I purchased a Virgin Pedometer. The first day, yesterday I did 8K steps. The goal or magic number is 10K steps a day. So I will strive for that. Not sure what that really means but its a goal to reach for. Yesterday went pretty well, I had all my shakes, one benefit Bar and one meal for dinner. I wanted to stick to all shakes, but me got hungry. :(  I still was on base with the program, nothing that I cant have. Today, same thing, but I am increasing my water intake. I just came back from my walk and its a pretty nice day. I am hungry, I admit it. But, if I eat one of my meals it will be at dinner and with a shake. Their dinners are actually tasty and they all run between 140-250 calories(I think).  Yesterday I come home from work and the smell of spaghetti sauce was in the air. The husband had made some in the crock pot. A bit tough, but I did it.  Of course it sucks that I had to clean up the mess and put the left overs away. He works night so ah thanks for the mess dude.

I hope this weekend goes well, I am sure there will be many temptations, so I am sure I will be a bitchy woman. Its either that or eat, so I vote bitchy. Watch out boys at home....stay away from mama. Of course, unless I win the Mega lotto then I will be a rich happy hungry woman. Well off to walk some more, need to reach 10K steps...Seriously what does that mean, why 10K?

I had to swipe this from Betty


Yes, this....
Genesis 15:1 After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision. "Don't be afraid Abram, I am your shield, your very great reward."

Absolutely love this

Do not be afraid Betty Gracie

Do not have fear, worry, anxiety

I am your shield, your protector, your protection,

I got you covered from head to toe, side to side, completely

You are safe in the shadow of my wings.

Your very great reward

I am it all, you don't need anything or anyone else

I am more than enough

My love, compassion, mercy, grace

covers it all

covers all of you

You need nothing else, you just need me

You need to not be fearful

but to know

I am here

I am meeting your needs

I will meet your needs

I never forsake, never abandon

I never condemn, but forgive your sins when you come to me.

I am far greater than ANYTHING

this world has to offer


You don't need possessions, I know what you need

Seek me, trust in me

It will not be something you regret

You will be rewarded

with abundance of eternal life

abundant love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

God is more than enough

more than food, possessions, worry, anxiety, fear.

God knows what I need.

I will trust in you Lord!

(Of course, a little help winning the Lotto would be nice)

Thank you Betty, and also my dear friend Margene would like this.

http://viewsfrombenches.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Anxiety here.

Alright, I have to admit, I am nervous about starting back to the weightloss clinic. But, I know I need the accountability. But, again I am getting those damn fears of failure. It is even hard to see them in writing. I didnt want to admit to it. But, I am afraid of failure. I dont even know why I have these fears. I know I have gain some weight since I left the program. In my heart I know I wont fail, but my mind is telling me otherwise.

I have this goal to work towards and a big reason to lose the weight. But, the fear keeps creeping in.
At times, I think about the high you get when you step on the scale and it shows a loss. I miss that damn high for sure. I need to keep going til I hit the goal line. For gosh sakes, I live in San Diego, you cant be fat in San Diego, you just cant. There is so much to do here that the fat just gets in the way.

Plus, I want to be able to fly(in a plane) of course. I am afraid to fly, big time. But, I am also afraid about not being able to sit in the seat.  The bulk of my family lives in England, and my brother moved to Ohio. I would like someday to visit both.

These last several months have gotten to me. My brother being diagnosed with inoperable cancer, the selling of my parents things, then their house. The pain has gotten the best of me. Sometimes, I wonder when I will feel whole again. Selling of their house, and knowing I will never see it again has opened up a lot of the wounds that I tried to have hide.

Also, I have noticed that since gaining some weight, I have gotten back into that wishing I was invisible feeling again. I avoid people and certain situations. I am moving back into the shadows that I use to live in and would hide into. For a brief time, I was relishing the light and feeling like I belonged. But, now with some of the weight gain, I am going back into my shell of deep darkness. Tomorrow night I will see what damages these last few months have done to me. It will also be the beginning.

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Queen Mary

Well, I have to say that the Queen Mary in Long beach went above and beyond customer service. I mentioned to you that our trip last week to the Queen Mary became a bit of a huge disappointment. The tour we went to see, the midnight haunted tour was cancelled because the psychic became very sick. (ok, no jokes folks, I have heard them all this week). No she didnt see it coming.....The QM staff not only reimbursed me for the hotel room, the also will comp us to come see the tour again. WOW. I am excited, I think I will try to encourage me darling daughter to go back up in May or June. I really think that was so kind of them.

I am so tired, I hope to rest this weekend. I think I will throw a chicken into the crockpot tomorrow and make a soup. This weekend is suppose to be rainy again. The weather this week has been really brilliant. Today tho, is very cold and cloudy, oh well. I have charged my IPOD and am ready to go for my walk at lunch today. My eye seems to be getting better. The MD, said it was nothing, just a broken blood vessel.  One more MD visit on Tuesday night and then Wednesday back to the program. Yeah!

My little doggie Dakota is getting better. She kept me awake  off and on this AM. She wanted out then back in. Ugg. At one time, she wanted back in, so I opened the glass door to let her in, in comes a black lab and I start to walk back to bed when I realized it wasn't Dakota, it was the youngster Boomer. He was just pretending to be Dakota.  Then I noticed the collar was a different color. Now that Dakota has lost a lot of weight, I couldnt in the dark, tell them apart. It was pretty funny really. Because the boy labs do not come in the house, but Boomer apparently noticed I was tired and Dakota didnt get their fast enough for me to notice it wasnt her.  So I am walking down the hall with Boomer and stopped and was like hey wait a minute here. I said you are not Dakota and all of a sudden Boomers tail was a waggin crazy and he started to get all wiggly. Man he is sly!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I hope I didnt scare the children

with that picture of my eye. EECK. Tomorrow I have a MD appt so I will ask my doctor to check it out.
My Dakota seems to be improving, see saw the vet, a really lovely girl, who increased her insulin. I also, bought a dog food made for diabetic dogs. That was another fine expense. But, my koty is worth it. I went to my nurses appt yesterday for the weightloss center thru my medical group. It great to see all of them again. It is funny I really missed them all. They are all so supportive. I will be starting next Wednesday is the first class, then Thursday is the diet again. I am going to "try" to stay on mostly the protein shakes. They are yummy, but I want to get a good boost going before they add the veggies into my program. Of course, I can also use the oatmeal which is equal to the shake if I get hungry...

The real hunger games will start then. he he.. So much talk about that movie I had to throw it in. I have actually never even heard of it before.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Yikes

This is what I woke up too.

Some of the things we did.

Well lets see, Wednesday we went to LA's Chinatown first. Then to see Dodgers stadium, except you apparently cant. Then we went to the Hollywood Blvd to see the Kodak theater and visit Roosevelt hotel. The Hotel was beautiful, Kodak was ok.  We walked around on Hollywood Blvd. (Yucky place really). The we went to the hotel to change quickly into our Clippers shirts (purchased just for the game). The hotel was close enough to walk to Staples. We walked it was a nice walk, only about a mile thru many a homeless and past a Medicinal Marijuana pharmacy. It was a very busy place.  Because we are getting back to the hotel late (and because it was creepy at night)we decided to take a taxi.

Thursday we went to Madame Tussauds. It was nice and fun, but I have been to the one in London and there is no comparison at all.   We went to the Hollywood Museum. (Old and grungy).We then had lunch at the WB break room before we went on the WB studio tour. This was 2.5 hrs and had fun. After that we went to Pacific Park at Santa Monica Pier. Cold, but fun. We rode the roller coaster and the Farris Wheel. We walked the Pier and looked at the Sunset, there was a seal in the water. We watched him for a bit. We went back to the car. On our way they were filming a movie. Interesting.

Friday, we went to Griffith Park. Beautiful and the homes near it are stunning. We saw the Hollywood sign and we went to the Hollywood bowl. We then left to Universal Studios. We stayed there for several hours. Fun! We went to the Queen Mary hotel, checked in and quickly changed into our Ducks shirt (again, purchased just for this game). Then headed to the Honda Center. On the way out, back to our hotel we saw the Angels stadium.  So we get back to the Queen Mary and we are just strolling along the deck and we get the call at 10:45pm that the tour we are waiting for at midnight was cancelled. Ugh.

So, we strolled some more then we went to the bar and watch the band play. Then we went to our room and watched a little TV and fell asleep. We woke up to a brutal storm. We packed and drove home in this crazy rain. You couldnt even see at times.

But, it was good to be home, my daughter missed her pups and I missed my son and my pups. Especially worried about my Dakota. So that was my crazy time.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Wowza

What a vacation. My daughter planned a perfect vacation. We did nearly everything on her itinerary.
We would leave the hotel about 9-10am every AM and return to the hotel at night usually at 10-11. We were on the go continuously between those hours. Seriously tho, LA highways truly suck. It is rush hour all day long. I will never complain about our San Diego freeways again. Hollywood is really trashy and dirty. But the museums were great and the studio tours were a blast.

Friday night our Ghost tour got cancelled at 11pm. It was to start at midnight. We were pissed. But my daughter and I toured the Queen Mary anyway. The ship is amazing.

Before I left for my trip though, my dog Dakota was sick, I took her to the vet on Tuesday and they did xrays and lab. The Vet said she had a stomach infection. The next day they called and said she also has diabetes. I was stunned. So, I went back to the vet and they showed me how to give her shots. I then had to get her prescription. So within 24 hrs I spent over 500 dollars. I literally left 10 minutes after dropping off the drugs. I showed my son how to give her shots and he took care of her for me the entire time.  I only see a little improvement, so I am going to bring her back for more lab test this week. I have 3 MD appointments and now I need to add the Vet. Plus, I might end up going to the doctor with my daughter.

I come back to work today and find out that one of my staff was off all week (sick). One of the abusers. Grrrrrr, I am pissed.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Monday Monday....

Well things didnt quite start off so well today. I had a doctor appt at 8:20, needed an H & P, an EKG and some fasting blood work. OK, so I get there at 8:00 and she said oh your doctor called in this AM and had a family emergency. Ok, I guess, I will see someone else. They have like 10 docs. But, nooooo, no one has any opening. So I asked them to ask the NP, I kinda know her pretty well. She ordered the lab for me and the EKG. So, at least I was able to get those done today. I will come back for the H&P. It is needed for the weightloss clinic.

Ok, I get to work, and yes someone called out sick. Oh well, no lunch break for me today. Tomorrow is my Friday, then I am on vacation. I am anxious, not a big fan of driving to places I dont go to much. LA is one of them.  It should be fun though. Weather might get a bit wet by the weekend. All last week it said how nice it was going to be this weekend. Apparently Mother Nature had a change of heart.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Yesterday I did something stupid

My back has been killing me now for a couple weeks. So yesterday, I thought I would take a 800mg Ibuprofen and half of a flexeril(Muscle relaxer). I usually never take these except at night. But, I thought half should be ok. It wasnt. At lunch instead of walking, I went and took a nap. Ugh, I felt like crap. It made me so frickin tired. Never again. I will just stick with the Ibuprofen.

Today is going to be a nice warm day. I really look forward to walking. I have been out of sorts lately. I am ready to take some time off work next week. It is my daughters Birthday and we will be spending up in LA LA land. We are going to see the Clippers and the Ducks and the Queen Mary. Weather should still be pretty nice. The only damper is the gas prices. But, what can ya do?

I have been experimenting with baby Bok Choy. Its really good. I made a stir Fry with it. I added to my egg white omelet. It was good. Its pretty versatile. I think my next adventure will be spaghetti  squash.
I saw a recipe from Hungry girl that looked really yummy.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

With things more settled

After my brother was diagnosed with inoperable stomach cancer, we had a lot of estate things to deal with. We had to sell my parents home(which still gives me nightmares). I dont think I will ever get over it. We had several estate sale to sell some of the items me or my three brothers didnt want. I had to drop out of of the weight loss program I was in. I just couldnt continue with all the other crap I was dealing with.

Well, now it is me time. I am starting back on 3/28/12. Now mind you I really havent gained much at all. but, I havent lost either. So I am really excited. I deserve it and I want it.

So, I have to start from scratch again, so Monday I go for my EKG and physical. Then I meet the following week with the RN and MD. Then I start the classes and program 3/28/12. Now, I plan on finishing what I started. The rest of the weight MUST go!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Should I feel guilty?

That our weather has been stunning. Nearly 90 degrees on Sunday. Most of the other states are having absolutely horrible weather.  Today should be a bit cooler. On Sunday alone, my son and I went thru two pitchers of home made Iced Tea. The dogs all went into the pool. I was in the kitchen and I yelled at one to get out when I saw the other one was already doing laps. I guess I cant blame them. If the pool water was warmer I would have been in too. I need to look for a cheap bird bath that I can put into the aviary before summer hits. Birds love taking baths.

Went to Costco on Sunday, it opened early so it wasnt crowded at all. I was out of Crimini's and my egg whites and turkey bacon. So, now I am set for a while.

I had to get gas, (not at Costco, line was way to long). Our gas is 4.38 a gal. Man does that suck!

I am hoping for a much better week. Last week was so bad, the stress made my back go out. And to top it off, I had to got to the other Hospital location for another Labor relations meeting Friday afternoon. I parked on the street and some real dick hit my car as he pulled out from behind me. He didnt even leave a note(of course). I think that was the final straw.  I came home and just sat in my big chair and didnt want to move.  I thought it was worse than it really was, the husband and son both clean it up and it turned out to be just a small scratch in the paint, no dent and very fixable. But still I am so glad the week was over. Today, I actually feel better, my back isnt hurting, no heart palpitations. So, wish me luck!

Friday, March 2, 2012

I am down on my knees

Thanking God for Friday.

 This has been the week from Hell. It has really been affecting me mentally and physically. Last night, my sweet son, built me a fire in the fireplace before he left for school. He got home about 7:00pm. I was in so much pain. Its kinda strange, the stress at work has thrown my back into a tizzy, but my back does not hurt when I walk at lunch(isnt that strange?).  So, back to the fire, we have this oversized chair near the fireplace so I laid sideways on it, with my feet dangling near the warmth of the fire. I really could have fallen asleep, my back was comfy and feet were toasty. Later on I decide to get up and clean the kitchen before I went to bed. That is when the S#^t hit the fan. I slighty moved and the pain was unbearable. I couldnt get up. Then I started to get the thigh spasms that would bring a elephant to his knees with pain. I cried out for my son, I started to panic mostly due to the pain being so unbearble. My son came and slowly helped me get up. But, I was so afraid that the thigh leg spasm would come back. I really, really cant handle that pain, it is so bad that my ears start to ring. So I just sorta sat there.  So I finally started to walk, my sweet boy cleaned the kitchen for me. I took a Xanax and went to bed, laid still, afraid to move, but blessedly I was able to fall asleep, thanks to the Xanax.

This morning, I feel better, the back isnt hurting much and no leg pains. So, I plan to walk at lunch, then go to a meeting at 1:00, but when it is over I'm outta here.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Being a supv sucks

I guess thats that. I hate dealing with unions and stuff. Love our Labor relations dept tho.

Ok, Last night we had a "real storm". Snow in the Mts, rain, hail and thunder and lightening that shook the house and got the dogs crazy scared. Wow it was awesome.

This weekend was nice an peaceful. Took my son to Kohls, he needed shorts. On the way home, I said lets stop of at Sonic's.(We never do). We were waiting in the drive thru for 20 minutes, all we wanted was the Low cal Cherry limeade (10 calories). It was what they call happy hour, so the drinks were half off.
While we sat there regretting the decision for a drink, we were able to get a good look at the menu, we dont eat there. Their food just doesn't look that good. So reading the menu, we could not believe the amount of calories that were in their food. They had this one burger, with 2 patties, cheese, jalapenos(maybe bacon) I couldnt remember everything on it. But the one burger alone was 1240 calories. Wow!. Scanning the rest of the menu, we really couldnt believe it. The one reason we had a long wait, the car in front of us, a tiny little car ordered about 30 bucks worth of food. OMG.   Our bill was 2.04 for both our drinks. Ok, the drinks were refreshing. But, so not worth the wait.  I remember when Sonic's opened in the town. It was this really big deal. Packed constantly, causing traffic issues, of course after a couple of weeks that ended. I think the only time it is busy now is on weekends.

Well off to work now. Take care.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Whoa its foggy out

I am not a fan of fog. It is so hard to drive in. But I made it to work. It is usually a 45 min drive to work and 45 min home(on good days). Gas is killing me. It is 4.25 today. It has gone up 25 cents since Saturday. Its not right! I know we are all in the same boat. But it is starting to really get me angry. I strive every day to not anger. I say this to myself every morning and afternoon when I get into the car to drive to work/home. It helps me stay calm. We have a lot of rude drivers so I need to not let them anger me. Driving to work would always stress me, just because we have so many cars on the road and everyone seems to always be running late to work.(Or it seems that way). Now, I say my little chant and I have a St Michael medallion and a cross hanging from my rear view and I rub it while I chant(to myself) and my drive is so much better mentally(Of course I do this before I start to drive). It calms me.  Yes I know, I am one of those "California nuts".(And proud of it)

This weekend should be nice and quiet, normal routine. My daughter wants to go to Seaworld to walk around, but not sure  I feel like it. I might just got to the gym instead.

I mentioned the other day that I was into the paranormal. I just wanted to say my daughter and I are really spirtual and not into the bad side of paranormal.  I guess it is hard to explain unless you have been there and witnessed what we have.  God is all around us.

I guess this made it even more confusing. The coffee must be kicking in. Let me repeat again...Yes I know, I am one of those "California nuts".(And proud of it).

Oh well, have a wonderful, safe and blessed weekend.

By the way I feel so bloated today. Can you tell?
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