Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Whew that seems to be over

OMG it was frickin hot on Monday. My son, who has an awesome truck, has a outside temp gage and it was at 117 degrees. Way way too hot. But yesterday, it seemed to cool a bit. But it was really humid.  Today on the other hand seems to be a lot cooler this AM and that is a good start. The last two days, it was running the AC on my way to work at 6:30 am. Crazy.

Still counting down til 10/13.  I am a bit anxious, I so don't want to fail. I shouldn't even be thinking like this, but my insecurities are raising there awful head again. There are times, when I think how wonderful it will be to feel comfortable in my own skin. I need to keep thinking positive thoughts. I need to think of this as an adventure with hunger pains. lol.... I am still reading web sites that are on weight loss. As soon as I get better with this blogging thing I will start listing them.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday Monday

Crazy weekend. Geez it was so frickin hot, 103-106..ugh. Spent Saturday at the Golfcourse, even though it was hot as all could be it was fun. It is really beautiful. Did a tournie/fundraiser for high school football. Sweated a lot, but also laughed alot. I dont do my drinks during the weekend since I dont have enough packs to last until my actual start date. I have to admit, I cant wait to really get started. I am trying to maintain or loose a few by drinking the drinks M-F in the am and noon.

I read a lot of blogs and that helps so much and it gives me hope. I also have been praying to give me strength to finish and have a successful end. I really want to do this for me. But I really want my kids to be proud of me.

Friday, September 24, 2010

TGIF ? perhaps

Still doing well on the liquids, but still cant wait til I start the actual program and get it going. This weekend as I mentioned last post is suppose to be very hot. I hate it... but I will be drinking lots of Iced Tea. It is my drink of choice.This weekend, nothing is planned and that's just how I like it.

OK, was so excited it was Friday... until staff started calling in sick which means I have to work over time to cover(me supervisor) . Now I am down in the dumps.. Was so looking forward to an early Friday off. I've got two kids who are both sick, one more so than the other. No matter what their age, you are always a mom first, the rest falls a way back second. 

Well I guess I will go sulk.....

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Nothing to it

Well had my pre-diet physical. Meet with a nurse, he was really nice. Got weighed (again ugh) and measured and had my before picture taken. I am so glad he didnt show it to me. We went over the program, it is a little confusing, but I'll catch on. Met with the director, pretty cut and dry, 15 minutes max.  Next move is the Oct 13 start date.

My poor kids are under the weather especially my DD, she sounds bad. My DS went to school, but I think he is next. I will stop by and visit my DD after work and check on her. Dang these cold.  Weather has been great lately, but should get into the triple digits this weekend (which is why we all are getting sick, cool-hot-cool-hot). Hate hate triple digit weather.  Still drinking the shakes and having a dinner, so far so good. Preparing myself for the real deal...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I wonder if I am afraid of failure or success. I know that sounds weird. But sometimes I wonder.  I don't know how to explain this except, sometimes, being overweight people pretty much ignore you. You kind of live in a sheltered life.  When thinner, people will start acknowledging you. You have to start opening yourself up to others and that can be kind of frightening. You have to let the wall down some, not all the way but some. I guess you also have to face yourself....

Well that was weird.  Ok, day two went much better than day one, I still was very hungry by dinner time, but ate better. Yesterday, I got a call from my medical health plan, they have approved the weight loss program. So I meet with the nurse today, for 1.5 hrs, then meet the doctor for 15 minutes. LOL.   Oh well, that's ok, I am heading in the right direction. I actual am excited about this, I hope I will learn a bit more about the program. Well I will let you know tomorrow how it went.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I gave it a good try.

Well yesterday, I drank my drinks in the am and lunch. Had homemade from scratch fish soup, which was absolutely delish.  It was my first time making it, my mom use to make it and it was amazing. I must admit my son did most of it while I shopped and it was to die for. Yummy, unfortunately I ate too much for dinner, in fact, I was stuffed. Geez.  All I can say is I will try to do better today. As I said before, I am preparing my self for the ultimate (10/13/10) due date of the all liquid diet.  So far though, I am enjoying the drinks and with the exception of a few stomach growls, I am OK.  I am reading other weight loss blogs and they can be such a inspiration. OK some are not that inspirational, but they are very enjoyable to read and they do keep me encouraged. Even if it just lets me know, I am not the only one in this battle. I went to my daughters house and we did some before pictures of me.  I am thinking that maybe when I get discouraged, I can just look at these and realize that failure and giving up is not an option.

I have to admit, I am curious, I am all enthusiastic right now, as I assume everyone is when they first start. I wonder what my post will look like in a few days, weeks, months from now. I bet I will be a raving witch.
Hmmm only time will tell.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Monday blues

Good news, we were able to find a website that televised the game..hehe, awesome. Best news we won. Well Mondays really do suck, I am starting my Liquid breakfast, snack,lunch deal. Then hope to have a healthy dinner. I need to remember to also drink plenty of water...God I hope our restroom here at work is stocked. I bet I will be in there more than my office. I must admit I still am having my MC D's SF vanilla iced coffee for am. I hope once I start the real program I wont have to give that up...uggg.  I keep reading the programs success stories to keep motivated. I also think of my kids, they have never, ever said anything about my weight. God bless them. But I know, deep down, they have to be embarrassed. Sheesh, I am embarrassed about myself..But they are so supportive of me, they always have been. I know all parents think that their kids are awesome, I do too. But they are also my best friends. They are older kids, not little, actually, they are adults. One thing I have noticed too, they are also very protective of me. When did things change?  I use to be the protector. Geez, it really sucks getting older.

Well lets get on with the day, drink my drinks and I will let you know how I did tomorrow. Take care.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A new start

Today is Sunday, and I cant believe it! No frickin football on TV, we were blacked out. Not enough tickets sold. I know this is a weight loss blog, but people, football is awesome.  On 10/13/10 I will start a Medically supervised weight loss program. It will be incredible hard, it will be a 10-12 week program, which will consist of mostly liquids. Yes you heard me liquids and not the good kind either. It will be supervised by actual doctors. I will see them every week for a complete check up and counseling. It will continue past the initial 10-12 weeks though.  I know that is about three weeks away. But I really have to mentally prepare myself. I am going to start out M-F having the drinks for breakfast and lunch, with a healthy dinner. Folks let me tell you I have over 100lbs to loose. I am not sure if anyone will ever read my blog, but I am going to use this as my journal to help me stay on track  It will not always be about weight loss but I have to admit I have a very odd family. Did I mention I suffer from depression? I guess that would be a given, being over weight will do that to you, but I have to admit I do have other reason. In time I will discuss them with you. I dont want this to be a boring or a depressing blog so I will try to keep it light and hopefully enjoyable, maybe even bring some humor to my crazy life.