Sunday, June 24, 2012

Boys and their toys

New boat for the boys. Apparently Dakota likes it also.
Now, momma's gift is a home with some peace and quiet when they go fishing.
Its a win-win in my house. : )

The picture above Dakota is my son's rifle, apparently it is a mans version of accessories. It matched the boat.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Crazy busy

Well things have been a bit hectic. The bosses left for their vacation and when they do they leave me a ton of things to do while they are gone. Not including my normal job. Buttheads, lol. But I have been walking and walking. I even went and bought me some new walking shoes at Roadrunner. I love their shoes, but hate their prices. Yikes. But, Saturday I walked Lake Murray, which is about 6.5 miles. Then I took my Dakota out for a long walk. By the end of the day, I had over 20K steps. That is a first for me ever....

Yesterday was my sons first Jury duty ever. I actually took him and then dropped him off after showing him the ropes. I then came home and thought wow I might have an actual peaceful quiet day.  Wishful thinking I say. First, I took care of the doggies, Dakota with her shot, then Luke with is Prednisone and ear drops. He has a yeast infection in his big ole droopy ears. He shakes his head some much it cause his ear to swell, it looks like a cauliflower ear. Poor baby. Then after that I gave all the dogs a flea treatment. Then I cleaned the kitchen. Then I did a couple of loads of laundry. Then I vacuumed. Then I went to Costco. Then I went to pick some food up for my boy and picked him up from his lunch break at Jury duty. I asked him what time do you have to go back. He said, he is done. They released everyone who wasnt called in the morning. He said only one group was ever called. Wow he was so lucky. I have never been released that early.

So, I bring him home. It was really hot yesterday, near 90 degrees. I was thinking it sure would be nice to take a nap near the fan. But some reason, I just couldn't rest. So, I went to Smart and Final to pick up some Torani's sugar free syrups and tea bags. Then I headed to the gym. I wanted to try out my new shoes I got on Sunday. So I hit the treadmill. I did 3 miles and ummm, my feet hurt. I should have taken it slowly on working in my new shoes. Oh well. Yesterday I hit over 10K steps. Yeah me!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Not sure what to do anymore

I havent posted often lately, because its seems like I am always down in the dumps. My weight is stalled, even tho I keep walking my bootie off and I seem to always be hungry. So apparently I am not over eating and I eat the right foods.

I am also having a lot of PTSD, I keep feeling so low and I wonder if I did all I could have done for the boys in the car crash. I know its been two months, but its getting worse. I keep thinking if there was more I could have done, should I have done CPR on the one boy. I knew he was dead, but maybe I could have brought him back. I know the other boy had an unsurvivable injury. I dont want to say how I know because it is too horrific. But, what if I could have saved the other boy. I wonder if I did enough for the other kids. Did I give them enough comfort, did I let them know I cared and was there for them.
God, it is getting so much worse. I am even starting to cry more when I am alone. I know people say to get counselling. But truthfully, I dont think I want to talk about it, it will bring it all back to the forefront.

I dont want to talk about with people I know, because they probably think "get over it". Its really getting hard to cope.

I want to be positive here, and sometimes I say I am when I'm not. But, the truth is I am suffering and feel lost.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Things going well

Yesterday was all misty here at work. I walked over to the hospital and I was thinking, man I dont want get my hair all wet walking today. Dang... Then it occurred to me that we have a parking structure. DING, DING I walked over and did my walking in the parking structure. It is 4 levels, so I walked down four levels, then walked up, the turned around and walked down four levels and then I took the elevator up. LOL yes I did. I guess my goal is to increase the amount of times I walked back up the four levels. Now the parking level is big, so walking down just one level, is like you walk down a level then turn the corner and walk down another level, again then turn the corner and you are on a new level and so on. So it is a lot more walking than it sounds. But, I was disappointed that I couldnt go back up the 4 levels,(Which is really 8 in a way). Maybe today I will do better.

Friday, June 1, 2012

I'm here

Sorry for the lack of posting.  Last weekend I had 5 days off. It was so nice. Thursday the kids and I and a friend went to the casinos. I lost big, kids did better. We ate at the buffet. I tried to stick to good things. I had the Salmon (of course) and some swordfish(a bit dry) and crab legs, (Messy). I got about 4 desserts and we split them amongst the four of us. We tried a bit of each. We had more than half still left over.

Friday, we were going to go to Seaworld for the new ride that was opening, but it was rainy. I dont like going to seaworld in the rain. So, I went to the gym instead.

Saturday went to the gym. Later went to another buffet(Chinese) with the guys. Ate to much, nothing that good for me. Stomach hurt like heck. It was only one plate, but way to much food. But the shrimp was really good.

Sunday we went and got a new TV for the living room. The old one was a 65 inch, projector type. The picture was becoming bad, and I didnt want to fix it as it was so big. So, we went to a furniture store and got a TV media center thingy and I got some bedding at clearance shelf.(Score)

Then we went to Best buy and got a 60 inch flat screen. It and the new media center is still so much smaller than the old TV. My front room looks so much bigger now. We put the old TV on Craigslist for free, within 30 minutes we had like 5 calls. Crazy. The first guy came and picked it up. Ya had to have a truck for sure for that monster. I think he is going to repair and resale. What ever. Good luck to him.

Monday was my birthday and my son baked me a cake. He tried to make it somewhat low calorie. He used the spice cake mix and a can of pumpkin. He used the premade cream cheese frosting in a can. It was pretty nice looking. The cake tasted amazing. Way to good.

Of course, I gained a pound and a half. No surprise. But, I am back to being good. Even if I was losing too slowly. Better slow than not at all.

This weekend the is a Holistic living expo on Sunday. I think I am going to go to it. I have free passes. You know I am into that kind of spiritual stuff. Should be fun.