Saturday, January 1, 2011


Happy 18th Birthday to my wonderful and favorite son.(that always kills him since he is my only son). I wonder why kids never think mom is funny? I crack myself up all the time. Anyhoo, no resolutions to lose weight for the first time in 20 years. Why you ask? Because I am doing it and have no doubt it will continue. I do want to treat people better this year. But it's so frickin hard when there are so many frickin assholes out there. (Just joking) See I am funny.

Now one thing I truly want to happen is lose the depression. I miss my parents so much, it kills me daily. The thing is its been a few years and it still feels like yesterday. My parents and I were so close, after my mom passed, I was in shock for years it seemed. I then started helping take care of my dad, had him over all the time. He only lived about 10 minutes from me.  I think when he passed I lost a little of myself. You see, I found them both when they passed and I re-live it all the time. Don't tell me to get therapy, tried that, no success. Meds ya I am on it, you know what, it doesn't really help. Truthfully, I don't think its odd that someone misses the people they love for the rest of your life. I mean I am viable, I still go to work, still live daily. Just miss them terribly. Feel lonely a lot.

Sorry for the downer post. Don't know what got in me.

Well today will be fun, slot machines here I come baby! Wahooo


Mom to the Fourth Power said...

HI Gracie,

I am sorry you're missing your folks. I so relate and I struggle with that loss every day as well! Especially around the holidays. It is perfectly normal to miss them and feel that bitter sense of loss, especially when we were so close to them. We each have to work through that pain... and it truly is a suffering. I pray that you will find some peace and comfort. It does get a little easier through time. For me, it's also about turning my sorrow over to my Savior, Jesus Christ because there is no sorrow He cannot heal.

Happy New Year!!!


Jacqui said...

Gracie.. ((HUGS)) Sorry to hear you are missing your parents. I know that holidays just magnify the loss. I don't think there is anything wrong with missing them... that's normal. I hope you find some peace soon.

I lost an aunt almost 20 years ago that was like my mom. It never gets easy.. but it does get easier... time is the only thing that worked for me. ((HUGS))

BTW.. you are showing up on my blogroll again.. yay!

Brett said...


I came over from Allan's blog. I feel the same way as you about missing those who have left this planet. Why wouldn't we miss them for the rest of our lives?

Just think of how happy they are for you that you are doing so well and becoming healthy.