Friday and still moving forward

Yesterday, I weighed myself and I was down 3 lbs. Today I was up 4lbs. LOL. I am doing pretty much the same thing day in and day out. I am not gonna get upset. Yesterday, was very warm. I came home from work completely exhausted. I ate my typical dinner and shake. I had three huge glasses of sugar free Iced Tea and fell asleep by 7pm. I mean yesterday was just one of those days you want to forget. So, I fell asleep soo early and only got up once when the dog woke me up cause she had to tinkle. My dog, if she falls asleep on her bed, in the front of the house versus next to me. When she has to go and she barks and if no one wakes up. She will, and I mean literally go charging thru the closed hall door and slams into my closed bedroom door hard enough to open it and comes running to my side of the bed. Believe you me, no one sleeps thru that noise. When she has to pee, she HAS to pee.  So I let her out and I went ahead and had a potty break and fell back to sleep the rest of the night. So, I am assuming all that tea did not get relieved before I weighed my self. So I am not going to worry. We will see what happens through out the weekend.

A new idea on my diet

Ok, I went to the clinic last night and only lost 1.1/2 lbs. I was bummed, I talked to the doctor (another new one). I told him I wanted to go on the lower calorie shakes drinks. They have a variety of them. I wanted to do something to increase the weight loss. He agreed and thought it would be a good idea. He did mention to me that sometimes after surgery your body can be unstable and also the increase in exercise will also slow down the loss. But, my body should get acclimated and start back losing.  I was talking to him for a bit and told him that he was the reason I was there.I had met him initially to talk about weight loss surgery. He didnt remember me.But said, I do now qualify for weight loss surgery if I want to do it. I looked at him and said "uh no thanks". I dont know but I kinda felt hurt he said that. I thought I was doing good and why would he recommend surgery?  I dont know I could just be too sensitive but....  I also told him I just had surgery last month and I dont want to go thru that again.  I dont know if I felt good or bad leaving his office. But, I am going to move on and keep on this program. Hmmmmmm

Boy am I tired.

Things have been so busy at work. Monday I never had time to take a lunch break so no walking. Yesterday one of my assistants insisted I take a break. Bless her heart. Today, I will also go for a walk. It sure helps my mind besides my body. Today, I am going to try to leave at 2:30.its our big  clinic day so all the docs will be gone from the office and in the clinic : ).  This morning was tuff to get out of bed. Monday night, OMG I went home had a shake for dinner and laid down and boom that was it.  Of course, I had a bad dream and must have screamed in my sleep because I woke up the husband who I heard saying a"are you alright? Did you have a bad dream?". I remember mumbling ya and fell back to sleep.  I have been having bad dreams lately. I sure dont like them.

Well, I am sure things will get better right?  My poor daughter has worked 18 days straight with only one day off and then they had a staff meeting so she had to go to that. She still wont get off until tomorrow and then back at it again for another 5 days straight. I sure wished she wanted to work at a hospital. I would do everything in my power to hire someone like that. My staff uses every excuse to take a sick "mental" day off. Which sux. But, things wont be so easy anymore. We are in tough times and those who dont want to be here unfortunately might get that wish on a more permanent basis.

OMG here I go again, pissing and moaning. I really dont like myself when I am like that. I need a mental change and snap out of it.  Diet is going well, beside my very old frienemy TOM. But I sure hope it shows a weight loss this evening at the clinic. We will see. Weather is going to be very warm today, so I nice walk will indeed do me well. I will stop and smell the flowers, (we dont have roses around here).

Monday and it will be a long day

Because as usual, someone called out sick. It is either Monday of Friday. I am already short staff due to vacation, so it will be a nine + hour day for me. Not including the 40 min drive to work and 60 min drive home. I am glad I brought a lot of carrot sticks. LOL.  Maria, was right, I need to be patient as plateaus do happen. Plus, PMS is here and TOM is expected soon. Maria, you are always so logical and right. I most likely overreacted. Being on a diet can sometimes mess with my mind.  I need to continue what I have been doing and have patience.


Hope everyone had a great Easter. I puppy-sat and cooked most of the day. I cooked two meals, one for the family at home and one for my daughter and her roommate. Two hams, and two sets of side dishes, all different. Two pies. I have to admit, I did take a slice of ham and dice to put in a salad for my dinner. The ham will cause water retention so I am going to be careful and drink extra.  Well, it looks live the weather has improved so it will be a nice walk today at lunch, which I will take even though we are short staffed.
Take care everyone.


PS: Those two pies, one was choc cream and the other was banana cream sure SMELLED good.

Lets kick it up a notch

I have been dieting and exercising so much lately yet I still havent been able to move my weight loss mark to 70 lbs. I decided to move it every 10 lbs. It is so frustrating. I have been walking over 2 miles at lunch each day. Weekends the gym 2 miles on the treadmill and arm thingys. I also use my resistance band to exercise at night. I have increased my fluids and watching what I eat. Trying to cut down the calories, my goal is 1300. I bring carrot sticks to  nibble on all day. I have even cut those down, since they do have a lot of sugar in them. I know that since I am pre-menopausal my water retention keeps happening two weeks out of the month. I have talked to the Doctor at my clinic about that. She states that we will see what happens next week at weigh in. I will NOT give up. I am frustrated but not defeated.  My pants are all baggy. I started off in a tight 24, now I am wearing an 18. Yippeeeeee. But, the scale is stagnant. I am not saying I am not losing weight, but it fluctuates from 2 down, to 1 up, to nothing, then 1 down....aaaaghhhhh.

I see on some people who list their menu, it floors me that some can eat fast food, and still lose. There is no way I would. I am on a HMR diet, which requires you drink a certain amount of protein shakes, and meal replacements and veggies and lots of water and exercise.I have to write down everything I eat and it sure seems to me that calories add up fast. This program does work for me, I have lost a little over 60 lbs since 10/13/10, but  I want more off. Sorry about the rant and raving. (Must be Pre-PMS,I use that excuse a lot, lol)

Weightloss is hard but not as hard as

parenting. Now don't get me wrong I have two wonderful children. A daughter who is 23 and an absolute wonderful person. She is funny as heck and has great morals. I am very proud of her. She is also my best friend. I know that sounds wrong to some. But we really have fun together. We have the same sense of humor and enjoy the same things. We even plan our vacations together. We talk daily and text each other all the time. My son who is 18 is wonderful, also a very good sense of humor and also has great morals. Neither of the kids smoke, drink or drugs. He is a delight to be around and we always talk to each other and at night we watch TV together and just talk about the day. He helped me so much during my post op care by doing housework and putting my socks on since I couldn't reach over. You know it is the little things that mean the most. He has a new truck and now is wanting to grow up. Well, I do appreciate that he wants to spend time with his buddies and just hang out and stay out late. Well, I have a few rules which applies to both kids and it isn't too much to ask.(I don't think anyway). 1) Text me when you leave and text me when you get there. If you decide to go somewhere else, Text me.  I need to know where you are going and with who. 2) Be home as a reasonable time.(Daughter who lives in her own home, will even text me when she gets home even if it is 2am). I always get up a few times during the night and tinkle. So I check and I sleep better when I know she is home. My son, still is in school so I want him home fairly early. I really don't like him driving at night. Boys together at night with a car is trouble. I am giving him more freedom but he has to earn each one. But rule #1 MUST be met. I have to admit, 18 is a hard age. They are still kids, yet they believe they are all adult. I see adults in the 30's,40's and even 50's who don't act in a way that is fitting as an adult. So he gets mad when I enforce the rules. But sorry that is the way it is.

Lord loves the children. But they are our cross to bear. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

So I was saying weight loss is hard, but parenting is harder. Both are worth it in the end right?! LOL

Everyone is so kind

I want to thank all my dear and blessed friends for their kind words. I admit, when I first saw this picture I was so ashamed of myself and cried. But as you all have said that is my before. I will try to get my son to take a half way after picture this weekend.

All of you are right, this journey has taken me away from that woman in the picture and I pray that on this journey I am learning a healthy way of life that I can take with me forever. I truly believe I am doing an injustice to God for the way I was treating my body. Funny, I dont smoke, or drink but food and laziness were my demons. I am trying to turn my life around one step at a time. (I am sure some of you are rolling your eyes, but thats ok).

At times I slip up or fall back into my harmful ways. But, I do find the strength to step back up and search for guidance. Sometimes it is thru prayer and other times it is thru reading my dear friends blogs.  Sometimes I just need advice and others I need a good kick in the bootie.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.  God Bless

Here is the picture that broke my heart



Ok, this is at my nieces wedding. The people you see are mostly my immediate family. They do not know that I have lost weight. This was taken about two months before I started dieting. But I am the big fat blonde, behind my lovely SIL who has the camera in her face. She is so funny. I have the weird looking shirt on. You can tell I am not looking at the person taking the picture. When I saw this picture. I cried,

Oh one great thing. As you all might remember I walk a mile and a half everyday at lunch, well it is getting easier and I am faster, so yesterday I repeated one of the big loops I walk and it turns out to be another .3/4 of a mile. So that means 2 and 1/4 miles. Yippee for me. I did it and still had time to wash off and cool off and drink within in my 1 hour lunch break. Yes baby and I am going to do it again and again at least until we get into the triple digits weather. But I will cross that bridge when the weather hits.

What a sunny warm weekend

Friday I took my son to the dentist and had all four of his wisdom teeth pulled. It was so fast, maybe an hour at the most. Which included  post anesthesia. He has done pretty darn well this weekend. The DDS gave him percocet.  I broke one of my back teeth from crunching on carrot sticks. That totally sucks. I just spent $590.00 (which they insist upfront)  on my boy. I think since my broken tooth is not noticeable at all and is not in too much pain. It can wait for a couple of more paydays. I had to pay the tax man a lot and I pretty much dont even dare go to the store right now. Sunday wasn't as hot as Saturday (which was 90+ degrees) so I sat at by the pool and enjoyed some peace and quiet. Well as much as I can get with 3 Labradors swimming around and 3 cockatiels singing away. But, it seemed like heaven to me. One of the new birds I got was trained to sing the Marine corp theme song and it is so cute to hear him whistle away. They are so happy in their new aviary. My Alex is also so happy he comes up to me at the door and tries to kiss me. It makes this old heart feel good.

My son is off this week for spring break, lucky duck. Saturday at the gym, I kicked up the treadmill and did 2 miles at a 1.5 level and 3.0 speed. It felt good.But,  I feel like I have  lost some of my momentum in the diet. I think since I seem to be sticking around the same weight for a month that I am getting very discouraged. I dont want to feel this way and certainly need some help from above to give me strength to continue and be strong.

New birds

top one is Blizzard middle one is Pacco
and below is my Alex

New friends for Alex

Yesterday I went to this persons house and bought two cockatiels. I brought them home in a little birdy carrier. I took the carrier over to the aviary and my Alex and these two (Paco and Blizzard) kept looking at each other. Cocking their little heads to the side and checking each other out. I opened the aviary and put the carrier on the floor and opened the door. I was going to let the walk out on their own at their own pace. Apparently it wasnt fast enough for Alex. He walked over to the carrier and stood outside the door just a cooing and talking away to them to hurry. He was so frickin happy in made me laugh out loud. They just hit it off so wonderfully. I think the two new ones will just love having an aviary as a home. Both were cage bound. I am so happy I did this.  I know, some people may think I am crazy to treat cockatiels like little people. But, they really have so much personality. My day feels so much better now that I know Alex is happy.

Also, I took my son to the dentist to have his wisdom teeth xray'd. Son has been telling me he thinks they are coming in and are starting to move his teeth. Now I spent a small fortune on braces. So no way in heck do I want this wisdom teeth to mess up his nice aligned teeth. The dentist said he should go ahead and have all 4 taken out. Okay, fine...how much out of pocket. It will cost me $590.00 bucks. Ugh. So tomorrow it is scheduled (tax day). I am dreading this weekend. My daughter had them done last year and she suffered all week. But my son is off next week for spring break, so at least he wont have to miss school.

Waiting for the weekend

Well last night I weighed in at the program and stayed the same. I was bummed, but not to much. I weigh in every morning at home and I know I am losing weight and lots of inches. Yesterday was warm, and I drank a lot. Especially tea I usual try to not drink as much on my weigh in day, until after I weigh in. But, after my walk at lunch, I was so thirsty and drank a lot of water and tea. It was warm and its going to get warmer. (Pool time this weekend). So I am not letting myself get bummed. I have been good and it will show. Currently I am drinking another 32 oz of sugar free (homemade)Iced Tea. Yes it is early, but what the heck I enjoy my tea.

New subject, I used to raise cockatiels and I have a large aviary in my backyard under the orange tree. I had a lot about 60. At my then weight, I just couldnt take care of them so I had to sell them. I kept two, my first bird I bought King, and one that I hatched Alex. My oldest bird, King  was a character and he was feisty. He died Monday and I was so upset. I had him for 16 years. His friend, Alex, wouldn't leave his buddy's body. He just kept sitting by it. It broke my heart. Now, Alex is in this big aviary all by himself and keeps squawking for King. My son said I should get a couple more to keep Alex company. Cockatiels are very social birds and love to be with others. So that is my goal to find Alex a new friend or two. I have plenty of room for them.

McDonald SF Vanilla Iced coffee

This is driving me crazy. I so love this coffee that I will not eat food in order to be able calories wise have this coffee. What have I done to myself. Seriously, I love love love this coffee. The large has about 120 calories, now I know better and I should eat something healthy versus drinking this. But, I can't. Now I dont drink it 7 days a week, but I do for sure have it 5 days. I get it on my way to work every morning. Funny thing when I was off the month for surgery, I rarely had it. But it's a work thang.  I get up at 5:10 am and leave for work at 6:20-30 so I have time to stop off and get one.  Why oh why must I crave this awesome drink.
I nurse it also, it will last me a couple hours. Its like my binky (pacifier). Sunday, even before church I will stop off and get one. Once I was feeling so guilty when I got it, that this little old lady(not me) was behind me in line and I turned around and bought her breakfast, thinking that would alleviate this guilt. It was like if I gave to someone, then it was ok to have my coffee. Alright, I know weird right?!?

Does anyone else have a problem like me?

Well I did it, (almost)

Ok, Sunday I went for a walk at the lake. I have been planning this for awhile. First off, people told me it was 3.5 miles. I was thinking to myself, I am going to do it. The most I have been able to do 1.5 miles (actually walking, treadmill I do more).  Well I start walking and it is beautiful and the weather was lovely. I am looking at this lake and thinking this looks a heck of a lot more than 3.5 miles. But, I'm trudging on and on. I start thinking to myself, if this is 3.5 miles, than my walk at lunch isnt 1.5 miles, even though I drove it and the car said it was.  Finally after a hour and a half, I am pooped. By my calculations and the signs posted I walked 4 miles. I was done. But I was confused. It just didnt seem to make sense. So I drive home and look at the lakes website. An lo and be hold, they state that it is 3.2 miles to the dam. But in parentheses it states then you have to walk back again. So good golly, it was 6.4 miles. I wasnt crazy.  Some day, I will try the whole thing, but right now I am happy for the 4 miles I did. One thing is once you get to the dam and touch the fence (apparently there is a sign on the fence that states it doesnt count unless you touch the fence) I thought that was kinda cute. But once you do, you have no choice but to walk back there is no other way out. Oh my gosh you are trapped. So you better be up to it. Someday I will be! God Bless.

Rainy Friday. yippee Weekend

Yep its official, it does rain in Southern California. Hmmph.  I need to hit Costco this weekend. I am not officially vegan, lol, but I do love my veggies more than meats/chicken. Costco has this great bag of mini or baby bell peppers. OM goodness they are awesome. Also, I love their snap peas, the big bag of carrots. I prefer the ones that arent already shaved. They seem so much sweeter to me. Also who doesn't love that big bad of romaine. Really amazing. I also love their crimini mushrooms, and brussel sprouts and hot house cucumbers. Then I might as well pick up a couple of cases of water. I am also running low on my zero cola's. Momma needs to make room in her fridge, lol.  Someone also told me they are now carrying Pop chips. Those are amazingly good.  Okay, now I am hungry. I found this salad dressing from Kraft called Zesty Italian that is fat free. It has 15 or 20 calories per tablespoon. It also taste great!  My weightloss program endorses the Waldon(?) calories free dressings. But they are expensive and I haven't found one that I like. So I am stickin with my Kraft.  To my Vegan friend, that pizza you mentioned sounds wonderful. Roasted veggies are my favorite treat. I am going to look for it.

I cant wait to watch my new CD from Reebok. I want to learn more ways to use my resistance rope. I hope they have some ways to use it for your bootie. I am going to hit the gym this weekend. Yes sir I am. Everyone have a wonderful and safe weekend. Take care.

whoa baby

Geez Louise, more rain and winter storm this weekend. Well at least it is helping our drought.  So yesterday after work, I went and visited my daughter to see all the yard work she had done. Of course, I got to see my grandkids(the dogs). The puppy is growing so big. Her roommate taught him how to shake. It is so cute, he has massive paws. The female is teaching him to be mellow, both of them are so laid back. At least when she is there. Alone, is a different story.
Last night, my family at home wanted pizza. So I stopped off after my visit to Filippi's. Picked it up, brought it home and gave it to them. It looked so gooooood. But, I didnt have any. :{.  But that is ok, I would have hated myself in the morning. I worked out on my new Reebok resistance rope. Fun, but I still didnt watch the CD. I really need too.

Also, if you are in spirit, please say a prayer for the children and families affected by the shooting at a Rio de Janeiro elementary school. It is so tragic. I live in a place where we have had several school shootings and the terror is indescribable. I know there are so many tragedy's in the world right now, including Japan and prayers are being asked for all. It always breaks my heart for the innocent children.

I'm ok with it.

Well last night went well. I lost 5.5 lbs.  At first I was like bummer... But, after I thought about it. I did lose 4 lbs at my last visit before I left for surgery. So that would be 9.5 lbs. So I'm ok with it. I feel motivated again. Funny thing, I had a new doctor last night. She was really nice and asked me how I was after surgery and did I have any tummy/bowel problems. I said oh ya, which I have. Certain foods go right thru me. She said, that was normal after the type of surgery I had. This was a relief to me. I have been having a lot of issues. I was a little worried, but now I am not. She said that these symptoms will subside and go away. So now, I must weigh in every Tuesday night and be held accountable : (). That will be a good thing. No screw ups and no missing exercise. Hopefully I will get out of the 240 and hit low 230 by end of month. Ya, that is a big wish, but you have to reach for the stars Right!?! Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Also, Julie, I will take pictures and  review the Reebok resistance rope this weekend. I am excited to see what all I can do with it. I will watch the CD soon. Take care my friend.

Today is the day

Today I am back to the HMR weightloss program.I am a little nervous. I hope I do well. I have tried but weightloss isnt easy. I just came back from my walk at lunch and it is still warm but kinda sticky. Ugh. I heard it might be another rainy weekend. Oh well, I like rain. But, it would be nice to have a sunny weekend soon. I know, pretty soon I will be complaining of the heat. Yep, thats me, never happy :). No really I am.

I bought this new exercise thingy this weekend at Target. It is one of the resistance ropes. Its from Reebok. I thought I could use that on my arms while at home. It came with a CD , so I think I will watch it this weekend to see what other things I can do with it.  I have used it several times but would love to see all the things it can offer. Heck it was on sale.......Everyone have a blessed day!

Stiff neck

Well apparently last week took more out of me than I realized. I came home Friday night with a sore back. Then in the morning I woke up with a stiff neck. I usually get these symptoms from stress. I thought I handled last week well. Of course, Friday afternoon I was asked to do a project and have it done before I leave in 2 hours. LOL. This project should have been done last month but no one did it. (Surprised, no). The project deadline was Thursday. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I left this job(which I wont).  I feel like I am the mother in this office of 4 MD's, 4 techs, 1 RN, 3 AA's.

Oh well, the diet has been going good, not so good on exercise, I didnt go to the gym this weekend. This really sucks cause I actually like going. But the ole neck and back and mind were not in the spirit of it. I feel better today and will absolutely walk my mile and half at lunch. Tomorrow is my first day back to the weightloss program and I will have to weigh in at 5pm. Yikes!  I will see the RN and MD also. I sure hope my weight shows a decent loss after being gone this month. It doesn't help that I weigh in at 5pm. Oh well, it is what it is.

Oh my goodness

Just came back from my lunch walk and it is frickin hotter than heck, even here coastal. It might be an air condition night at home. To bad though it is suppose to cool tomorrow. I dont mind weekends being warm since I go to the ac gym and can come home to the pool and lay by it. But noooooo, week days hot, weekends cooler. :(.  Oh well if that is all I have to sweat about, then I should be thankful.

Sitting here now at my desk with my little fan on me, drinking water and I am starting to feel better. It must 90 here.  This weekend should be quiet, no plans, just the gym Saturday and Church and gym Sunday. No problem. Maybe even sleep in.  I will drink my Iced Tea and relax.... Let see if that happens. Happy Friday.