11/7/2003 my mom passed away. It feels like yesterday. I wonder if you ever get over the loss of your mom or dad. I sure haven't. My daughter and I have this incredible connection. My mom and I really didn't. I loved her with all my heart and miss her. But my mom had her demons. It was alcohol. I cant remember a time when she didn't suffer from it. Ironically, I use to drink a lot when I was young, like 16-21. After that, I realized what was going on. I like the taste of wine and beer and margarita's and such. But, I just don't drink anymore. It doesn't sit well with me. I remember when my kids were little, I rarely drank in front of them and never ever to excess. Funny, neither of my kids drink either. I guess that was what I aimed for. But, really I just didn't want them to see me the way I saw my mom. I remember times when she gave it up for a few months and those were some amazing times for me. It was great when she was sober and I mean really great. But those times were few and far between. But, now it is only the good times I remember. I will always miss her and wonder what caused her pain and made her drink instead of being a mom to me. Now, dont get me wrong I know she loved me. She did, I know that. But her demons were too strong and I just wasn't enough to save her.
Now all that is over and I would do anything to tell her I love her and I hope she has found peace from what ever haunted her.