Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The final count down......

LOL, I have had the line in my head all morning.

This is it folks. I am frickin nervous, all these thoughts running around my mind..what if I fail, what if its to hard...what if.. what if.. What is wrong with me.  So much self doubt. I mean isn't this how I got in this boat to begin with. Self doubt. Lack of confidence. Being ok with failure. I mean really, who is ok with failure. Me.  Not anymore. Damn it. I am tired of this, so unbelievably tired of this shit.  I am tired of being sore when I get out of bed, or when I walk or sit.  Afraid of sitting in a chair and breaking it, afraid of not even fitting in it. Unless you have been fat, you don't even think of this. Shit no one deserves to live like this, and especially me.

I am taking control of my life. With or without anyones help or support. This is all me baby... The buck stops here.(Hmmm, I wonder how many more cliche's I can get in).  I will be honest, each week I will post my weight loss. I will post pictures as I go, if I can figure out how to. (Will have to ask kids to show me how).

Ok..on with the big show

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