Halloween-

I love Halloween, it is so much fun. I use to decorate my yard as a cemetery and have ghostly sounds coming out. I went crazy. Then kids stopped coming to our neighborhood. All the kids in our neighborhood have grown up. We are a small hood. This year I gave my stuff to my DD and she went crazy at her house, she will get a ton of kids. Her house looks great.

I have still be sticking to my diet faithfully, and the weight is still coming off. I cant wait til Wednesday. I have been drinking Coke Zero(no more than 2 a day). I have never had it before, and let me tell you, I luv it. It has a great taste.  Everyone have a safe night and be good to the little devils out there.

WTF

Man, I am so bummed. I lost two pounds, I wanted more. But I think I was bloated, stupid TOM. Next, Next I said NEXT week I will double that. I am going to increase my water and exercise more(yuck!). I will not fail, I will NOT.  Its funny, I lost 14 lbs in two weeks, one of my weightloss partners, a 10th grader, lost the same amount. He lost evenly the last two weeks, where as I lost big the first time, and small the second. He is jazzed, and I was bummed. I guess its like the old "glass half full " thing. He is an inspiration. Great kid too. So when I woke up this morning. I had a better attitude. Aaah gotta love the youth of our world!

Hump day

Hump day, hmmm very strange. I don't feel like I'm over the hump. I feel like I am still climbing up the hump. Strange indeed. Oh well, tonight is the weigh in. Not sure, but don't think I lost the 5 lbs I was hoping for. Maybe I should increase my water. I have noticed that I have been thirsty. No cheating still, I have to admit, I actually like this diet. Sure, don't get me wrong, I definitely want to eat my dinners I cook for the family. I am a good cook :). But the replacement meals are tasty, with a little spice in them. I think they deliberately added some spice. It does make you eat it slower. For example, last night, chicken creole. I think I ate each little bitty rice separately to make it last longer. It worked. Of course, I also don't want to rush my one real meal a day....I make it last baby.  Of course for the family I had a crock pot going of spaghetti sauce . I added ground chicken and chicken sausage in it. It cooked all day and damn it smelled good. Of course they all raved how great it was. I was like "that's nice". I don't want to be bitchy, but man sometimes it can be hard. I will let you know tomorrow the results. Wish me luck!

Another day

Still not one ounce of cheating on my part. Or as they call it "staying in the box". TOM still with me which is wearing me down. I am anemic. Tomorrow is another weigh in day. I hope I lose at least 5 lbs, not sure tho. Sure did slow down a lot. I have been upping the exercise, with walking a lot. Still feeling a bit blue, not sure why. Could use some time off of work, that is for sure. The thing is everything seems to be running smoothly. So you think I would be happy, but Im not.

Its Monday again

I feel so blue... must be PMS. Could be that its rainy and cold, just the perfect kind of day to stay home.

Back to the diet, I have been so faithful to this diet, not even a lick of something I cant have. Will be interesting to see what happens Wed night.

This weekend was so busy. First the yards sale at my DD, had to be there at 6:30 and bring her breakfast. Hmmmm. Then Sunday babysat the little guy, who is as sweet as they come. He and I went shopping. Then brought him home and took my own DS to the wonderful Target.  Came home and watched Paranormal State. Love that show.  OMG my life is boring.........

Yipeeeeeeeeee

Ya its Friday and I am so happy (doing happy dance with my fingers).  I am not planning to do much this weekend. No working Football, its a away game. :).    Daughter is having a yard sale tomorrow, might go visit. Not sure yet. Offered to babysit her roomates little boy, on Sunday . That should be ok, he's such a sweet boy (5yrs).  Weighed today and down another 2 lbs. This will help me get thru the weekend.

I have a new pair of pants, that I am going to have to return for a smaller size. That is crazy.

I am so enjoying the month of October. Usually this is our fire month.  This time we are having a lot of cooler weather and rain. So no Firestorms yet. (Knocked on wood and said a little prayer of thanks). 
Also, there are so many scary shows on TV, I love scary shows. Especially, Ghost shows and Monsterquest  also Destination Truth. That Josh Gates is crazy and I also get a belly laugh watching him. I also bought two ghost books. I am obsessed with the paranormal. I have had so many actual experiences that it has made it my obsession to learn more about it.

Drum roll please.....

OK yesterday didn't start out to well, I tweaked my back looking for stuff in the garage for my daughters yard sale, so I missed work. Being at work is great for my diet, I am so busy  and the day flies by. Rare temptations so, its a good place for me to be. But, I did ok at home, kind of slept a lot with my back hurtin.

Went to the doctors last night for my weigh in and class. The weight loss for the week is.....(wait for it)....
12 pounds. Wahoooooo. The doctor said that was really good. But next week might be half. I said 6 pounds would make me happy too. :)

What motivation, as soon as my back feels better I feel like going to the gym.

I'm soo happy!

OK so WTF

OK, Monday night  come home from work and Husb and son decide to BBQ steaks with salad and tater tots. This is one of my favorites. We have rain so the house is closed up. So the smell just waifs through the house and this is the first time I actually became a bit cranky.  Man, I love tater tots.  It doesnt help that my son (17) has a cruel sense of humor and uses it on me.  (God love him)

But, never fear, I stuck with my shake and meal replacements. And it was tasty, it was turkey chili. 
Then, I watched TV and read a book. So I made it through. I am worried about the weigh in tomorrow. I hope I loose enough for me to say to myself, this is soo worth it. But no matter what it is worth it. (Ok, I am a bit split personality, I am a Gemini).

I have been reading a few weight loss blogs which can be a big inspiration. I love Jack Sh*T, his humor keeps me going. His website is a kick.  There are a few more. As soon, as I learn how to work this blog more, I am going to add them to my site as a link.

Made it thru the rain....

Ya, its raining today, but that's ok.  I made it through the weekend. Ugh, it was harder than I anticipated. Saturday AM woke up with awful leg cramps. They started in the calf then went to the thigh. I have had thigh cramps only twice in my life, both with in 2-3 months. The pain is more than I can describe. I feel as if I am going to pass out with the pain. My heart starts racing with the pain, and I get that buzzing sounds you get when you think you are going to pass out. I guess I must have over done it on Friday work the football game. It didn't seem like it at the time.

I followed the diet plan exactly as prescribed. No cheating what so ever. I drank all my fluids took my vit and fiber . Problem, I am just starting the TOM. Great, more cramps. Still like the drinks, I did try some of their entrees and they really are good. It helped me. I also tried the oatmeal they have and I really like it. I am going to get a box at next appt. I am thinking of having it with a shake for breakfast.

One down and ..........so many more to go

OK, my first day done and gone and I passed it with flying colors, a few hunger pains and so many many trips to the bathroom. WOW. Water goes right thru you.   But, I do like the shakes and I think the hunger pains will subside, most likely they are mental. The actual food they supply looks really good. I did have one of their bars. It was really good. I don't think I needed it, but was really curious on how it tasted and yum.

Tonight, will have itS share of issues. I am going to work my sons HS football game with my daughter. It is always a blast, but exhausting and I am always starving when I'm done and so are the kids .  But no fear, I have a plan. I plan to bring a shake with me and have one left when I get home. Worst case scenario, I can heat up a meal replacement, hmm they look good.  Of course, I could come home and go to sleep. I do see that happening more then not. Hey, you can sleep thru hunger pains right?

Really missed my McDonald's Sugar free vanilla iced coffee. I have had that every AM before work. Yesterday was the first time I didn't. I cant have it on this diet.  Oh my, that was hard. I got a small diet Pepsi and that seemed to help. So who knows, this maybe the new drink for me. I don't usually drink soda's much and still wont. But in the am, I just need something, ya kno?

Hey, have a really great weekend and be safe.

The final count down......

LOL, I have had the line in my head all morning.

This is it folks. I am frickin nervous, all these thoughts running around my mind..what if I fail, what if its to hard...what if.. what if.. What is wrong with me.  So much self doubt. I mean isn't this how I got in this boat to begin with. Self doubt. Lack of confidence. Being ok with failure. I mean really, who is ok with failure. Me.  Not anymore. Damn it. I am tired of this, so unbelievably tired of this shit.  I am tired of being sore when I get out of bed, or when I walk or sit.  Afraid of sitting in a chair and breaking it, afraid of not even fitting in it. Unless you have been fat, you don't even think of this. Shit no one deserves to live like this, and especially me.

I am taking control of my life. With or without anyones help or support. This is all me baby... The buck stops here.(Hmmm, I wonder how many more cliche's I can get in).  I will be honest, each week I will post my weight loss. I will post pictures as I go, if I can figure out how to. (Will have to ask kids to show me how).

Ok..on with the big show

Monday and getting close

I start my weight loss program Wed eve. So Thursday I start. I wonder at times (fantasize really) what my future holds for me. My kids tell me how proud of me they are for doing this. Which is nice, but makes me wonder if I have been an embarrassment to them. They say no, but if I am to myself, I must be to them.  I read this wonderful website site, its very popular and I am glad I found it also. Jack Sh*t getting fit. He is a incredible inspirational writer. He is also frickin funny. I read his blog over and over to just get a laugh. This guy is awesome. Love his pictures, his followers are great too.  His poetry is just too funny. I actually print them and put them in my weight loss binder. 

On another note. Damn those Charges, how could they lose to the dreaded Raiders? Damn, Damn, Damn.

Hey do any of you have crazy neighbors. (As if anyone reads this, lol). I have this crazy neighbor, the 'cat woman". Now don't get me wrong, I like cats, even though I am terribly allergic to them. She has nearly 40 in her house. She never lets them out, except in the back yard. Can you imagine the smell in that house. She doesn't work, yet she always has a fed ex truck in front of her house delivering something. Her husband has to work his butt off to pay for all this crap. All she does is peek out her window at the neighbors and she also writes her blog. Which she is always complaining about the neighbors. Now let me explain, our neighborhood is really nice, very very quiet and some really nice people. None of us are real close, but we pretty much all get along. So this woman, is pretty much paranoid.  I hear that cat hoarders are usually a bit off. I guess that must be true.... Take care

Wet Wednesday

I hate the commute on a rainy day. The commute on a normal day is always crowded and thats at 6:45a. With rain, it sucks..... Well I do live is So Cal and we dont get a lot of rain to begin with. Our roads are made for hot weather, so when it rains it gets a slick coating. Plus people are pretty rude when behind the wheel and just darn crazy.  But I would love to live in rainy weather town, ie Grants Pass, OR Maybe. It is so darn cute and pretty. I hear the people are nice also.. Who knows maybe when I retire.

Works been tough lately. I don t know maybe its me, but I really feel burned out. Granted I have worked here for 23 years.

Who what where

Oh here I am. Geez, I suck at this. I promise once I start the program I will be better. Count down time on and I must admit , I am a bit nervous. Mostly of failure, I think....

Friday Friday

Yesterday was so strange, as you might remember we had 117 degree heat earlier this week. Well yesterday we had thunder and lightening all day. It was crazy and wonderful. I love RAIN more than I can tell you. I don't get it, I love love rain, yet I live in So Cal where it is always sunny.  Give me Oregon or Washington Please... I am running low on my drinks. But today is the 1st and I have til the 13th. It will be here before I know it.

Still have my moments of excitement and moments of doubt.