Yesterday, if I had posted, which I wanted to, I needed to vent. But it would have been filled with anger, and very very bad words. But I am better now.
I had my CAT scan yesterday, they make you drink 32 oz of water in an hour. Geez, like that is a big deal. I had no issues what so ever, did it in 30 minutes. Then they did the test. Tech said the doctor will either get the results to your PCP today or tomorrow. Kool, I am not going to worry.
I am talking to my boss at 11:00 and my son sends me a text to call my PCP. WTF.... OK, calm down, so I call. My hernia does have a bowel obstruction, so keep an eye on it, make sure if doesnt get red, swollen and painful and she is referring me to a surgeon. HAHAHAHAHAHA.... fucking great. (Sorry that slipped).
I guess, beside having to have surgery again, I am pissed off because I have just been getting back to my normal routine at lunch. I am at 2 miles and going for more. It has taken this long to gradually get back to this level.
Hey, I am ok. One small step back, I'll be fine. So, I just need to pick it up now, so I am in better shape than I was before my last surgery. I think it took me so long because of the PTSD. I was mentally fried, depressed and slipping over the edge of darkness. But, I am much better.(Thanks to the double dosage my doctor put me on) :).
I had my brother over Saturday night. He and wife could only stay for an hour. He gets tired very easily. He looked so bad, working at a hospital for over 25 years. I know the look, the skin color and other signs of ... you kno. But, he was my brother,loud, talkative and funny. We laughed a lot and I was good. No tears or sobs. I put my big girl panties on and toughed it out for him. I admit a couple of times my eyes watered. But I blinked them away. Of course, when he left we didnt say good bye. He did say that he doesnt want a memorial or anything like that. Geez, I have to admit Pat does everything his way, even to the end. He did say he is sending me something in the mail after he is gone. But all in all, It was so great to see him again, even if it may be the last time.