Weather here at home is hot!

Well after working 7 days straight, I'm a bit pooped. Weekend before last, I worked at a walk/run charity event at Mission Bay. Drizzled all day. Saturday, I worked a lecture with the Neurologist and Neurosurgeons on Campus(La Jolla) cold as heck. Now the weather is in the 90's at home. Sunday I laid out by the pool. That was nice. My boy, has been super sick. I took him to the doctors on Friday, he has a URI, bilateral ear infections, bilateral pink eye and laryngitis. FRICK.  Today, I am leaving at lunch to take him back to the doctors, his ears still hurt. Still up all night coughing. My poor (20 yo) baby. I bought him some grape Popsicles to help his throat.  lol, I know I treat him like an 8 year old. But, when my kids are sick, they need their momma.....

My walking has been doing great. My daughter has started working out and eating healthy as a partner for me. She is doing great. She knows at times I struggle to put me first and she will text me and say "why didn't you log today on MFP". I laugh, but then go and put my daily food and workout on it. She is keeping me strong. She knows I really want to get lower before surgery in June.  I can be on facebook and she will send me an IM and say" so what are you having for dinner?" or" how was your walk". God I love her!

Heck I had some woman on my floor tell me I sure was looking good and could see the weight loss. At lot of people on my floor always see me walking at lunch. Its kind of funny, because they will see me and say "so how is the weather outside" since they know I was out in it. Or maybe they are just stalkers, who knows.

Been working a lot ugh

Well, I have had  3 weekends I have had to work for special events related to work. But, the doctors has been so appreciative, they know how much I love tea and gave me a bag full of Starbucks teas. Initially when they brought in the gift, it was in a starbucks bag, I was dreading that it was something food related. But they know I am dieting and such and bless there hearts it was Tea. I really do have the BEST bosses ever.

I have lost only about 7-8 lbs,since February but my pants a real baggy. I just bought them Feb/13. My lunch walking is still doing good, infact one day last week, I was able to increase my 2 mile walk to 3 miles. Yippeeee. I hope I can do it again. It was like the stars and moon were aligned perfectly.lol  But, I was pretty darn proud of myself and will try to do this at least once a week, then twice and so on... I am bound and determined to lose more weight before my surgery again in June.

I forgot to mention, my baggy pants may look stupid to some people, but I wear as a badge of courage.:)

Surgery date set!

Met with the surgeon today. Scheduled my surgery for June 17. I am so happy, I was certain he would insist sooner. But he was agreeable. PERFECT, my bosses go on vacation the same day.

 I was laughing so hard at a friends blog, he was writing about waxing. Ironically I do that before surgery. So, it was perfect timing.
http://almostgastricbypass2.blogspot.com/. Oh my gosh my stomach really hurts from laughing so much. Trust me friends, it has been a long time since I have laughed, let alone like that.  It gives me two months of more dieting and walking to get in better shape. SInce as you all know, I think my surgeon is a cutie. :)

Glad I slept on it

Yesterday, if I had posted, which I wanted to, I needed to vent. But it would have been filled with anger, and very very bad words. But I am better now.

I had my CAT scan yesterday, they make you drink 32 oz of water in an hour. Geez, like that is a big deal. I had no issues what so ever, did it in 30 minutes. Then they did the test. Tech said the doctor will either get the results to your PCP today or tomorrow. Kool, I am not going to worry.

I am talking to my boss at 11:00 and my son sends me a text to call my PCP. WTF.... OK, calm down, so I call. My hernia does have a bowel obstruction, so keep an eye on it, make sure if doesnt get red, swollen and painful and she is referring me to a surgeon. HAHAHAHAHAHA.... fucking great. (Sorry that slipped).

I guess, beside having to have surgery again, I am pissed off because I have just been getting back to my normal routine at lunch. I  am at 2 miles and going for more. It has taken this long to gradually get back to this level.

Hey, I am ok. One small step back, I'll be fine. So, I just need to pick it up now, so I am in better shape than I was before my last surgery. I think it took me so long because of the PTSD. I was mentally fried, depressed and slipping over the edge of darkness. But, I am much better.(Thanks to the double dosage my doctor put me on) :).

I had my brother over Saturday night. He and wife could only stay for an hour. He gets tired very easily. He looked so bad, working at a hospital for over 25 years. I know the look, the skin color and other signs of ... you kno.  But, he was my brother,loud, talkative and funny. We laughed a lot and I was good. No tears or sobs. I put my big girl panties on and toughed it out for him. I admit a couple of times my eyes watered. But I blinked them away. Of course, when he left we didnt say good bye. He did say that he doesnt want a memorial or anything like that. Geez, I have to admit Pat does everything his way, even to the end. He did say he is sending me something in the mail after he is gone.   But all in all, It was so great to see him again, even if it may be the last time.

So much for a good year.lol

Let me start off by saying that I am not giving up hope for things to get better. But, still with the impending loss of my brother and now more surgery for me, the odds are against me.  I've been silent for a while, so let me tell you about it.
You might remember about a month or so ago, I thought I gave myself a hernia. I went to my doctor who put fingers everywhere they didnt belong. :(   She found nothing. So, ok, I just pulled a muscle. Well two days after my brother told me his situation, I had gone to the doctors for something. On my way to work, traffic was just stopped bumper to bumper, and I realized that I just couldnt face it or work and I went home. Now, I never do stuff like this. But, mentally I was down and out. So, home I go. I get home and when I get stressed I clean house. So I am vacuuming and I pull out an end table to clean behind it. No problem it looked good afterwards. Well Saturday morning, as I am waking up. I am stretching and rubbing my belly (Dont we all do that?) and I feel a lump in my belly button. Crap. I am certain it is a hernia. So Tuesday back to the doctor.  She is feeling it and thinking that perhaps this isnt a hernia but a tumor. Fricking great!

So Friday off to get an ultrasound, of course between Tuesday and Friday I catch this horrible cold from the spouse and my throat is killing me, fever galore. So Thursday at 11:15 pm, I get up take a large dose of Ibuprofen for the fever, because it is NPO after midnight. I wake up with a raging fever and gosh awful sore throat. It hurt to even swallow my own spit. I couldnt even take a sip of water due to my test. So I go to the ultrasound and the tech is really quiet doing my test. I said well if it is not a hernia, then it is a tumor. She said, I am sorry but I am not allowed to say anything. But the radiologist WILL be calling your doctor this AM with the results. Ok, is it just me or did that sound ominous?  I start to go to work, since it is only 7:30 in th am. But, I am so sick, now scared that I go home. Seriously this is so not like me. About 5:30 that night, yes I waited all day, the on-call MD (My doctor doesnt work on Fridays) called and yes you have a hernia. She initially was just going to leave the results for my MD to call me on Tuesday when she gets in, but knew I was worried by the message I left for the doctor that AM. Bless that woman. OMG, I was so happy (?) . Now next Tuesday, I go for a CAT scan. I am hoping that it is minor and I can wait several months before surgery.  Hey, I think people need to stay away from me because I must be cursed.

Well, tomorrow is April 4.  It will be exactly one year since the fatal car crash. I cannot believe it. It still feels like yesterday. I drive past the site to and from work everyday. But, the flash backs are getting less and less. I wonder about the families and how they will be tomorrow. 

Strangely, I havent weighed myself lately. I hope things are going down hill. My appetite sure has. I rarely eat dinner now and maybe will have a small lunch or breakfast.