Back to work

Well it has been a long 6 weeks of hell for me. But, today I am back to work with a new focus on life. I am so glad to be back to work.

About a week after my surgery, I went to my medium group and she read a few things that related to me. One, was about suicide. I  remember first shock that she said it exactly to a T. I also was a little pissed off that spirit was tattling on me. Isn't that silly. But, I was angry for about a week, then I started to feel guilty. Then suddenly I realized what an ass I was for even going to that direction. I did a lot of thinking those six weeks. I first had the fatal accident issue, then my 3 surgeries in 2.5 years. Then the diagnosis, and eventual loss of my brother. I realized I made it through all of this and I know I could only have done it with Gods help. I started to feel more inner peace.

I really want to change my life around and do right with the Lord, spirit, myself and family. And I think I can do it.

My brothers fight is over...

This was posted by my niece on facebook, and it was so lovely I wanted to share with my blogger friends.

My father, Patrick , passed away tonight at 10:57 pm Pacific Time in La Mesa, California. Dad had been dealing with cancer for quite some time and living well with it until a few months ago. He was peaceful and in no pain at a lovely hospice setting with roses and cats and overlooking a manmade lake. He was only 61 years old. He had worked for 36 years as a respiratory therapist at Rady Children's Hospital in San Diego. His specialty was working with preemies in the neonatal intensive care unit. Over 36 years, Dad worked with thousands of babies and families and mentored many of the staff in the unit. He was a co-organizer and founder of the nurses and technical staff union at Rady, UNOCH. Dad was also an avid rockhound, creative mind, lover of the desert, and a devoted family man. My family is very, very sad tonight, but he is free now. Here is a song for my dad, Southwestern man to the core: A Horse With No Name.

Well heck

You'd think I would be a pro by now on surgery. But, each time gets tougher. But, with each passing week I get better. My surgery went well, I had to stay 3 days and 2 nights. It was really really painful. The hernia had grown quite large and they did put a mesh in, but due to the size they had to use these buttons as stitches. It was gross. As time went by the buttons started to cut into my skin and was awful. I couldn't move much or they would just slice into me. But I survived and they were removed today. I am so grateful. Now, I can start walking again and swimming again. We have had 90 plus degree weather and all I could do was stay inside. But now all of that is behind me. Monday, my daughter and I are going to start walking at the lakes. I will need to get there by 6 to 7 am before the heat rises. Its nice because the lakes (7 total) has a defined walking path with 1K, 3K, and a 5K. These lakes are all flat walking, not like the one I use to do which was a 6.3 mile hike and hilly. Gosh, I miss those days. I felt so good about myself then.  I know it will be slow for me, but I am excited to get started.  Julie, I am so thankful to have you as a friend. I know your prayers are helping me. God Bless.