My good bye visit

This was when Pat, in the single chair under the fish, came to visit me a few weeks ago. He was looking pretty weak, but awful good to me. His wife is on the other couch. Me, I am taking the picture. Just incase you are wondering why I have a stupid fish on my wall. Well my son caught it, it is called a White fish?... He was five years old when he caught it on a deep see fishing trip.  His dad had to stuff the damn thing and put it on the wall.  I thought a picture would have worked just as well. But, nooooo. So there is sits.

I think I mentioned that I got a new car.

I never really talked about it since so much happened since buying it. I do love it so much.

It has a nice trunk area to put my big ol pooches when they go to the vet.

I'm strange

Ok, I keep walking, actually it is helping with the mental issues. I was thinking my hernia was getting bigger, but it turns out my tummy is getting smaller. Hence the hernia just feels bigger. Did I tell you it feels so gross....

 I went to Costco the other day from work to get my egg white, Romaine, baby bells and carrots. I couldnt believe it, but my sister-in law(Pats wife) was there with  one of my nieces.  My Niece was in town (of course), she is a big wig in Chicago. She is this big activist for the disabled. Love her and dont get to see her much. But, it was really a huge surprise to see them. The other daughter was staying with Pat.  I was just talking to my SIL that afternoon to see how Pat was. I also wanted to tell her not to worry about us,(me and my other brothers). She was saying that she was feeling guilty that we couldnt come over to see Pat. Pat didnt want visitors. But, I told her we did say our good byes when Pat was his self and that would be how Pat would want us to remember him. Also, Pat should be with the ones he loves. I am not saying he doesnt love us, he does. But Pat married his soulmate. They have been together probably 45 years. They met young and that was it. Plus, he is only awake maybe minutes a day and he needs to be with her and the kids. We truly do understand.  When the end is imminent she will call us to be there at the very end.

Ok for the strange part. When I do have surgery, I will be off 4-5 weeks from work. I hope to be able to swim if possible, but at least rest by the pool. But, I was thinking it would be nice to have some books to read. So I ordered 50 shades of grey. LOL...I told my daughter and she couldnt believe it. I just laughed and told her I guess you didnt know your mom was a perv. LOL.. She just shook her head. I laughed and said you know damn well you will want to borrow those books when I am done.(She is 25 and her roommate is 27).  I know both of those chickies will want to read them. Heck at that age I know I would have by now had them read.  I dont know what has gotten into me...or maybe what hasnt.  hehe.....

I had a dream

Last week I had a dream that my brother T called me and said that Pat was doing worse and is in a lot of pain. He said also that there were issues with the medication. And they are in contact with hospice.
I woke up feeling so sad and sick to my stomach.

Saturday, T called me and said Pat is doing worse and in a lot of pain. His wife is in contact with Hospice. Apparently Pat is so weak. He can speak for a few minutes of the day and then is out for the rest of the day. He is in a lot of pain, and apparently there is some issues with the pain medication not being as effective as they want. He is also having some altered mental status.  His daughters and the grandkids are here.

Now, I am scared of sleeping and dreaming, I am afraid of having the final phone call. When I am awake, I jump if my cell phone rings.  I feel like a zombie and just waiting for the finale to hit.

Back to the doctors

I took my son back to the doctor yesterday. Sure enough his ear infections were not getting better, so she switched the antibiotics. I felt so bad for him, on the way home I asked him if he wanted me to pick something up for lunch. He said, no. I said, not even  in N out  it a yummy burger place here. He said, ok. He sure did light up with that. So, at in N out  there is always a line. They pretty much only sell burgers and fries. So of course he got the double double . I got a x-large diet coke. Man the smell nearly killed my diet. I told him, that I was going to drop him off at home and then I will go get the new prescription. I mentioned to him, to be sure he eats while I am gone...He did and he threw the trash out so there was no evidence. LOL

I ended up eating my salad, with the Lean Cuisine topping. Its good, its the new lean Cuisine thingy. I had the Southwest one. Definitely not a double double, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Weather here at home is hot!

Well after working 7 days straight, I'm a bit pooped. Weekend before last, I worked at a walk/run charity event at Mission Bay. Drizzled all day. Saturday, I worked a lecture with the Neurologist and Neurosurgeons on Campus(La Jolla) cold as heck. Now the weather is in the 90's at home. Sunday I laid out by the pool. That was nice. My boy, has been super sick. I took him to the doctors on Friday, he has a URI, bilateral ear infections, bilateral pink eye and laryngitis. FRICK.  Today, I am leaving at lunch to take him back to the doctors, his ears still hurt. Still up all night coughing. My poor (20 yo) baby. I bought him some grape Popsicles to help his throat.  lol, I know I treat him like an 8 year old. But, when my kids are sick, they need their momma.....

My walking has been doing great. My daughter has started working out and eating healthy as a partner for me. She is doing great. She knows at times I struggle to put me first and she will text me and say "why didn't you log today on MFP". I laugh, but then go and put my daily food and workout on it. She is keeping me strong. She knows I really want to get lower before surgery in June.  I can be on facebook and she will send me an IM and say" so what are you having for dinner?" or" how was your walk". God I love her!

Heck I had some woman on my floor tell me I sure was looking good and could see the weight loss. At lot of people on my floor always see me walking at lunch. Its kind of funny, because they will see me and say "so how is the weather outside" since they know I was out in it. Or maybe they are just stalkers, who knows.

Been working a lot ugh

Well, I have had  3 weekends I have had to work for special events related to work. But, the doctors has been so appreciative, they know how much I love tea and gave me a bag full of Starbucks teas. Initially when they brought in the gift, it was in a starbucks bag, I was dreading that it was something food related. But they know I am dieting and such and bless there hearts it was Tea. I really do have the BEST bosses ever.

I have lost only about 7-8 lbs,since February but my pants a real baggy. I just bought them Feb/13. My lunch walking is still doing good, infact one day last week, I was able to increase my 2 mile walk to 3 miles. Yippeeee. I hope I can do it again. It was like the stars and moon were aligned perfectly.lol  But, I was pretty darn proud of myself and will try to do this at least once a week, then twice and so on... I am bound and determined to lose more weight before my surgery again in June.

I forgot to mention, my baggy pants may look stupid to some people, but I wear as a badge of courage.:)